Music

It feels as if I can practically see every note,
Sense ever rhythm,
Feel every sound vibration.
As the music courses through my nervous system,
and dances so colorfully in my brain.

It's truly incredible.
To feel the world around me fade just enough,
So that really it just out of my grasp...
Ever so briefly.

I feel almost weightless,
as I drift about my room.
Tracking the colors with my hands.
Chasing the whirling vision,
Desperate to make it true.
Because it makes me feel at peace,
It makes me feel at home.

I long for the day I have the space to express this in its entirety.
No longer confined to my small, cramped room.
I long to explore the depths of this gift.
I long to loose myself in this world,
To loose myself in this...feeling.

Because I know now,
That I finally have someone who can bring me back down to earth when I'm done.
Someone I feel safe enough with.
To wholeheartedly just allow myself, to explore what I only ever skimmed the surface of.

I have someone worth coming back for,
I have... something worth coming back for.
Finally something to rival dissociation,
and this false perception of freedom.
A freedom only available in my mind,
A freedom that was never real....

-DeJay