This story is about my close experience of trying to give up and the moments leading up to that moment. If you are in this type of mental state I would not suggest reading this story but I can't stop you. However if you are you can always reach out to me if you need help. The story will contain detailed feeling and harmful words. This may cause distress in some people especially if your going or have gone threw this. If you ever have I'm sorry for what you have or are going threw. Now the story is about my personally struggles with 3 different things and I went threw these at a very young age. It's about my struggle of loosing my mother when I was 5 going threw a sexuality crisis and a gender crisis Around the ages of 11 and 13. It may contain some meaningful words and possible homophobic slurs just know these are not mentioned in harm there shown to aware people of how serious homophobic abuse can be and how damaging it can be. Now enjoy the story and sorry if it causes and distress