The Girl In The Background

Chapter 4: The Triad Ace

Solitaire's POV

I saw the death of Aunt Jane coming but the pain and grief that I felt this time was greater than what I felt in the past. Maybe it was because I knew what was coming but I couldn't do anything to prevent it from happening or was it because I felt guilty watching my friends be so oblivious of what was ahead of them while I remember it all so clearly. Just like how I watch Spade grieve for the death of his mother.

Aunt Jane's wake lasted for five days. On the first day, Jax and Freya invited our classmates. The guilt and grief was eating me the moment I sent Spade to his mother and dropped off Dean near her house, it was to the point where I couldn't talk or even look at Spade. We stayed there until midnight for three straight days, just staying beside Spade. Some of our classmates were also going on random days but I never saw Dean after the first day.

Freya and Athena also attended the whole five days of the funeral without amiss. And every time we visit Spade, Freya would always stay beside him, consoling and talking to him. I watched their interactions on the far side of the room, never bothering to eavesdrop to any of them.

Looking at them now, I realized that Freya and Spade looks great together. The auras that they give off were complementing each other. How did I not notice that in the past? Was I too blinded by my attraction to Freya at this point in the past?

Because I will not deny it. Freya is a very beautiful girl, the kind of beauty that you will see on billboards. But besides that, Freya was also very kind and knows how to handle people. These were few of the reasons why I liked her back then. But I forgot all of these reasons after Spade's death. Whenever I see her, I always associate her with the tragedy, like she was mischief incarnate that I decided to call it quits.

I had no time to process my left feelings for Freya, I didn't even know how I moved on. I just cut all ties with her and lived in despair until I decided to create the webcomics. I never even tried to reconnect with her after starting the webcomics, I didn't know if she was living her life well. If she got married and already has her own family.

I don't even know if I should say sorry to her since I am about to change her future this time, whether she had a happy or sad life after Spade's death. This time, she has to end up with Spade no matter what. To save him, to save me, and to save us.

I walk back to the chair on the same row with Spade, Jax, Ace, Freya, and Athena after giving my stem of white rose to Aunt Jane on her burial. Spade's sister, Clover was hugging their father as she wail, while Spade was quiet, he did not cry but every now and then, there were tears brimming his eyes, leaving it bloodshot for the rest of the ceremony.

The ceremony already ended. Aunt Jane's body was already six feet under the ground, the guests already went home, even Clover and Uncle Peter, Spade's dad. We were the only ones left here and we remained silent as Spade stood beside where his mother now lies. Jax and Ace sat quietly behind Spade, while Freya and Athena were talking far from us.

I went beside Spade and saw tears streaming down his face, leaving their tracks on his cheeks. Spade didn't make a sound, nor his shoulders shake as he cry. He grieved quietly, secretly. Spade looked like a young lost boy. The tears built up at the corner of my eyes as I stayed beside him. I looked up and swallowed to prevent them from falling.

Spade sniffed and wiped his tears. "Thank you for being with me at this time. I couldn't have held it all in if it weren't for you guys." He told me.

"Sometimes, you don't have to hold it in. It's alright to let it go and just completely break. You'll feel better after even if it's just a tad bit." I answered, remembering how I grieved for his own death in the past.