Torn (Dark Desires Duet, #1)

Chapter Seventeen

I don't want to wake up. My face is wet and sticky with tears, my body cramped up but I still don't want to leave the bed. I dread this day.

It's my mum's birthday. I remember how she used to wake up super early and call us all out for a special breakfast. It used to be some new experiment of hers. Waffles with cherry syrup and cheese or donuts with candy filling. Once it was baked avocado and chocolate- it was great. I miss her with every inch of me. She died when I was eleven. Twelve years later, I still can't get over it. But is one even supposed to get over the death of your mother?

Curling up, I close my eyes once again-warding off the memories of her death. Tara thinks I don't know it, but every year on this day and mum's death anniversary, she takes me out for a million activities. I don't know if she forgot about it today. I don't blame her, though. With everything going on, she must have other priorities- like the ongoing murders.

When someone you love dies, the wound never heals, it just lays right below the surface.

A knock on the door shakes me out of my reverie and I don't bother to wipe my face when I mutter, "come in."

Brandon peeks his head and gives me a lopsided smile, my heart flipping over. He comes in warily, hands inside his pockets. There's just something about him that makes my heart leap in joy every time I see him. I've seen movies where two people fall so deeply in love, that that kind of love could burn the whole fucking world down and I want that. I need that. Losing Brandon would break me, hurt me, kill me. I know that. I can feel it in my bones.

I sit up and pat the place next to me, surrounding myself with the covers.

"Hey."

"Hi yourself."

He bites his lip, unsure what to say next. I decide to make it easier. "See, Brandon, don't be worried. Today's just a really bad day for me."

Raising an eyebrow, he sits down, folding his hands on his lap. I'm too upset to even feel disappointed that he isn't close to me.

"It's supposed to be my mum's birthday today. She died twelve years back."

He nods and looks down. "I get it. My mum left us when I was young and my dad died later. I know how it feels to lose your parents. The pain is too much. I know. And I'm here for you."

I choke on a sob and he pulls me towards him. I hug him tightly, crying onto his shoulder. He doesn't say anything for the longest time, only patting my back and whispering nonsense comfort words. I'm so glad he didn't say the usual 'I'm so sorry for your loss' and all that bullshit. I don't know much about heartbreak, but I would give anything, anything to bring my mom back. Even my soul. But knowing that nothing will, just shatters me in every possible way. Being with Brandon helps ease the pain and ache. His scent, his touch, his words are everything I didn't know I needed.

After my crying ceases, I pull back and fall onto the pillows, observing the white ceiling. He lies next to me, our hands touching. Delicious shudders run throughout me. "You know, Kathryn, I've been thinking." Brandon starts haltingly. "I can't stop thinking about you."

My breath catches. It's only been some time since we kissed and I know I want more, need more. There's no reason to push him away when the only thing that's holding me back is my fear.

"I'm scared." I say out loud. "Of losing you, I mean."

Brandon turns to me and trails my face with his finger. My eyes flutter at his touch. He traces my nose, my cheek, my lips and stops there. "You're beautiful."

"You're pretty too."

He laughs and I stare into his blue eyes with that interesting green rim, long lashes framing them. Electric tension sparks around us and I forget how to breathe. He really is pretty. Not only that, his soul is pretty. He saved my life by risking his own, how many can claim that? He's always there for me and I don't know whether this insane attraction to him will ever last, but I sure do know that every moment with him is precious. And like the Gollum that I am, I want my preciousss.