The Alpha's Rogue (BOOK 2)

Part 40

My pups are already dead.

My pups were not yet ready for this world, they needed more time, time that my body could no longer give them. I had one job in this world as their mother, to keep them safe, I couldn’t even do that seconds into their birth, they didn’t even take their first breathe. My body couldn’t cope with them, and they paid the ultimate price for it.

I tried to keep myself going, I fought as hard as I could and it was all for nothing. I have to accept it, just like last time. My body isn’t suitable to carrying pups; I will never be a mother. Xander wouldn’t want someone like me as his mate, someone defective. Worthless. Incompatible to carry a life. That’s the one thing a male wolf wants, his genes to pass on to his pups, making them stronger for the next generation. The one thing as a female wolf that I clearly couldn’t achieve. Unwanted. That’s what I would become now.

I snuggle my pups closer, trying to keep them warm. Although they were not ready for this life, it brings my wolf comfort to keep them close. To try and experience what it would have been like to nurture something. I close myself off in my mind, too ashamed to interfere in her dream, and let her spend her time with the pups.

                                                   **********

I wake up to a tunnel full of light, in my exhausted state I must have passed out. My body already starting to recover from the trauma it went through, my mind however nowhere near ready. I look down to my stomach, the two pups still there, unmoving and cold. Now that its more lighter, I get my first proper look at them. Both dark in colour, just like their fathers coat, and build in stature like him. Clearly lycan pups. Ive no idea when a Lycan can shift for the first time. I remember missing the history lessons  in school about them, due to my first heat occurring and having to spend the entire 2 weeks at home away from the unmated males, and the females that I could potentially attack.

Their little faces, looking so sweet, in a never ending slumber. I didn’t even think of names for them, never imaginng that id get the chance too. I place my head next to them, giving them another cuddle.

I hear the stomping of feet. People calling out. I try to be quiet, if anyone comes near me and my pups, I will fight with every part of my soul, I will kill anyone who tries to take my pups from me. The scuffle of feet are at the front of the cave, my hackles rise, my teeth exposed, a growl emerging. I tuck myself tighter, trying to hide my pups.

“Greyson, shes over here”

Another set of footsteps approach.

“Don’t go near her. He made direct instructions, make him aware of her location and secure the area”

Both men leave as promised, but I can still smell them, all of them. I don’t like the fact that my only exit is being watched. I put my teeth away, but keep my growling to a minimum, whoever approaches next, will suffer.

A few minutes pass by and no one moves from their spot, if my hearing wasn’t as good as it was I could be convinced that no one was there. But I wont make that mistake. I wont leave my pups unguarded. Another person makes their way to the front of the cave, I growl instantly, another warning to whoever approaches us.

“Little bird? Its me, Xander”

He crouches down and approaches slowly, and for good reason. Although my growling is kept to a minimum, my teeth and hackles still remain.

“I just want to make sure you alright” 

He comes in closer. But still keeps his distance. This cave seems smaller now that it holds all 4 of us. The light struggling to get past his colossal form.

When he is about a metre in front of me, he sits down on the floor, lowering his head, trying to look smaller and less intimidating. He can obviously read my wolf and I discomfort. We are frightened, we are unsure on what to do now. The situation has changed.

But he has shown me he is patient and will wait for my wolf to calm down before he gets closer.