Through sickness and in health

17

Wednesday

"What ya painting?" Katie leans over looking at my canvas, we're supposed to be painting something that reminds us of our childhood.
"A treehouse. Used to have it in our garden before a storm made it collapse" I shrug
"How's Jason?" She asks,I hate to say it but my mind had drifted from Jason for a little while today and i was actually relieved. Most of the anxiety I've been feeling was gone until now.

"He's doing fine. He was kind of walking yesterday"
"Already! Jesus Christ, if I were him I'd be taking it as a holiday. Fuck the pain, I'd just lie in bed and sleep all day" she smiles
"That's not Jason at all" I sigh
"Yeah I know he's a stubborn bastard that can't sit still for five minutes and refuses to accept help from other people"
"But I do like him. When he's not being a dick, he's good for you. He's head over fucking heels for you which makes me happy because your happy"
"Anyways catch me up. Should I visit him too or not?" She asks. I laugh thinking about how that would go.
"His sister and her husband are visiting with their daughter. I've been replaced by a two year old but she is adorable. His dad is back, he wants to see him and talk to him and possibly recover what he broke. He had a panic attack yesterday when he heard about his dad coming back. And he explained a bit of his childhood which made me want to crawl in a ball and sob" I take in a breath after rambling on. Katie stands there in shock trying to take in everything that I just said.
"So that's a no to visiting?" She says, I can't help the laugh that comes out.
"Probably not" I can see the disappointment in her face which makes me curious. She's never cared much to hang out with Jason why does she care now? Then it hits me

"You just wanted to see will" I laugh
"Can you blame me?" She smiles
"God just talk to him. He is a stupid little shit that can't take hints though, I've watched many painful encounters of girls flirting with him and he didn't know what the fuck was going on" I laugh at the memory of me and Jason in the cafeteria and a girl talking to Will in the line. He smiled and talked to her but couldn't seem to catch onto the hint that she was flirting.
"Oh shut up like your boyfriend it any better" she scoffs
"Guys are just hopeless" I conclude
"Yes they are but we love them for the dicks they carry" she smiles putting her arm around my shoulder.
"Your still a virgin" I laugh
"And I'm not allowed to fantasise about the guy that's gonna take my virginity?" She asks
"Oh my god I can't with you" I laugh

*~*

"How's the patient doing?" Jessica smiles, she hands Luke his coffee and Jason his hot chocolate before sitting in the chair next to his bed.
"Could you leave us? I need to talk to Lexie" Jason says sitting up in bed. They nod taking the sleeping ivy from his arms and walking out. Luke pats my shoulder giving me a small smile, I know this isn't good.
"What's wrong babe?" I sit in the chair next to his bed watching as he stares at the wall refusing to make any eye contact.
"I'm sorry" he sighs
"Why?" I laugh
"I can't drag you down with me lex" when he turns to meet my eyes tears immediately form behind my eyes. I already knew what he was going to say before he said it.

*~*

"Lexie your late" dad says from the living room. I ignore him throwing him the keys which he catches with ease and walk into the kitchen. I refuse to cry I already did I enough of that in my car for thirty minutes before I drove home.
"Honey what happened?" Mom asks. When I turn and meet her eyes my heart breaks over again and I burst out crying and fall into her arms.
"He broke up with me" is all I'm able to choke out as the tears fall and my heart shatters.

When I finally calm down and I'm able to get a word out without bursting out crying I explain it to my parents.
"He said he didn't want to take me down with him. He said he needed some time to think, to figure stuff out. He called himself a liability and said I deserve better" I sigh wiping the tear that managed to escape.
"Honey it's not your fault" mom says hugging me tightly.
"I just don't understand" I sigh
"I knew he wasn't good enough for you" dad hadn't spoken this entire time. I know he doesn't mean it, he loved Jason like his son, he still does you don't get over that kinda of bond that quickly.
"Nate" mom sighs looking at dad
"I'm just gonna go to bed" I sigh
"Do you need any-"
"No thanks mom. Love you both" I make it to the bathroom before I collapse on the floor. My eyes feel heavy but the tests keep falling, my body aches and my heart hurts.

So many questions fill my mind. So many thought. But I somehow find myself worrying about him even more now that I can't text or call or visit him.

He broke up with me