Floating Face Down (boyxboy)

Chapter Five

[A/N] Double chapter! The reason I'm updating two is that the chapter I wrote turned into around 6K words, which is three times the size of a chapter. So I've split it into two. After these I think it's two more chapters until we meet the second protagonist? Maybe three... I can't wait. (- ᴗ -  ) ✧

I always walked home, because while students got to school at different times and entered through the school gates in twos and threes the students all left the school at around the same time, filtering down in one coordinated mass down to the street outside the school grounds to wait for their parents to pick them up, walk or go down to the bus stop at the end of the street. 

If Irene picked me up at the same time as she picked up Colby it would be obvious, and I'd have to walk pretty far to get somewhere no one would see her pick me up with all the students walking around.

I didn't mind walking home, I wasn't as tired in the evening. Besides, it was in the morning when I felt the weight of my unpredictable fate resting on my shoulders as I dragged myself out of bed and slumped in the corner of the shower to wash. It was when I was heading back home that I realised I was okay, the day was over.

I watched the sun set on my way back, I walked through the park, even though it was a detour. I kinda hoped to see Victor on his way home somehow, but he had probably left much earlier than me.

I always felt sad walking through the park. Couples walking together, kids playing, groups of sketchy teens blasting music, feeding the pigeons their leftovers, or as my dad liked to say "tomorrows rat food".

Everyone seemed to have someone.

Someone out there that gave a single shit about them. A girl that liked them, their mom or dad, their brother to play-fight with, who, if they broke something tumbling about, would both be equally in trouble. Friends from school. 

It was a sedated feeling, I thought, as I watched from afar, how unhappily happy everyone seemed, wrapped up in their own little worlds. I wasn't even on the cusp of those worlds, I was no one.

It was me and Milk, the fluffy large white dog that liked to pretend to be my pillow. 

And if I faced up to the facts the truth was Milk only liked me because I fed him, took care of him.

When I got home the house smelled good and there was a happy conversation in the dining room. I stepped inside and realised there was a small celebration for dinner. 

Irene cooked up shepherds pie, which admittedly was pretty good, and opened up some crisps. We normally had apple juice or water but we had cola to drink tonight and everyone seemed happy about it. 

My brother Colby had done really well on his recent test, an important one I assumed, they were all the same to me, ninety-two percent. Irene was beaming at him and Colby looked pretty happy. He had studied for it, I knew that.

I didn't say anything and kept mostly quiet, I didn't want to ruin the nice atmosphere, didn't want to start an argument. But I didn't feel like a part of the group. 

The night before was still under my skin, I still wore the purple-yellow mark of the bruise on my face, that they'd ignored in favour of arguing with me. And now there was no way for me to talk about it without seeming like an oversensitive prick, just trying to guilt trip them or something. Even bringing up the trip would be asking for an argument. 

And ruining a special day for Colby was one of the best ways to have everyone turn on me in an instant, it made me seem like I was selfish. Sometimes I wasn't sure if it was my fault or if it wasn't, in the end it didn't matter because everyone thought it was.