Too Beautiful For the Alpha

Chapter 25

After wandering around for nearly an hour, I ran into the border and told a guard that I had gotten lost. After convincing him that James is my Mate, he led me back to the pack house. Now we wait standing at the door for someone to answer. Thankfully, Gail opens up and looks at me, then the guard. "What are you doing back so soon? I thought Theodore was taking you on a tour around the pack grounds?"

Before I can speak, the guard asks authoritatively, "You confirm that this young lady is mated to Alpha Grant?"

Gail pulls me in. "Yes, she is. You can go now. Come on."

She shuts the door and I drift into the kitchen where Theresa is. Gail follows behind me. "You're back early," Theresa comments. "Where's Theodore?"

"I left him."

Gail places her hands on her hips. "What do you mean you left him?"

"I ran from him after making his sister cry," I say and sit myself down on a stool. "I got lost. That's why a guard had to bring me back."

"You made his sister cry?"

I sigh and turn to face them. "His sister was James'...lover. I just wanted to talk to her, but she started yelling at me, saying she loved him, that I took him away from her and shouted for me to leave, so I did. I don't know. I panicked."

"Now why would you go and talk to her in the first place?" Gail asks, walking around the counter.

"I wanted answers from her, and I got them, but now I want to give it all back. It was better when I didn't know."

Gail says genuinely, "Some things just need to stay in the past, dear."

I nod and slip off of the stool. "I need to think things over."

I head upstairs and close my bedroom door behind me, facing the room with a new perception. In her mind, I probably did come out of nowhere and wreck everything she had built. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to love someone one day and be dropped the next. I wonder where her mate is, if he's dead like Noah's, or if she just hasn't found him yet. Doesn't she look forward to that? Finding her mate?

Maybe Claire is capable of loving beyond the bond. We're different, Claire and I. She seems like a passionate person, someone who falls in love hard when they do. She may have taunted me from the hallway, but maybe she deserved at least that. I couldn't imagine James abandoning me for someone else now, right when we seem to be getting places, but could he? I like to think that I'm different because I'm his mate, because I can give such pleasure with a simple touch, but am I? If the bond didn't exist, would I be another Claire in his eyes?

I don't want a normal love with normal pleasures, I want the exclusive one, the one that's exclusive to James. I want the deeper, more engulfing love, the love that brands my heart and makes my toes curl. Noah would have never made me happy because I want more. Is it wrong to want more?

Is it wrong for me to crave something I thought I could never have?

I reach for Julianna's diary but promptly remember that I had finished it. I'll have to grab the next year's from the blocked-off room, but I'll ask James first this time.

Now that I know of Julianna's end, I read more carefully, pointing out the signs and convincing myself that I don't act the same way. I'm waiting for the entry where she talks of James' conception. I'm waiting for her to sound truly happy.

Wishing I had gone on the tour with Theodore, I leave my bedroom, looking for some form of entertainment. At least he would have distracted me for a few hours with training grounds and meeting people and housing. That sounds better than laying in my bed until another chance at establishing a position comes to me. If I'm going to be mated to an Alpha, I may as well have people know me as their Luna. I'm tired of guards doubting me. Maybe I'll tell James to spread the word that he's found his mate. It's time.