She began to fear every sound since she had met him. With every step she looked over her shoulder. Fear of him kept her wary. Trying to run from the nightmare he put her through was all that mattered, but the pain of being away from half of your sou...
It's been a couple of weeks since I've last seen him. I was anxious for everything at first. However, I could tell it wasn't the same as after I got out of the first out of the hospital. It's like before I could sense his presence, now everything feels empty. The watched feeling is gone and in its place is a hole in my heart. I think I may be depressed. Nothing has really held my interest. I can't find the motivation for anything. Everything that I care about feels so boring. I'd like to think that I'm feeling this way from stress and not heartbreak. Other than me not enjoying my hobbies anymore my life is mostly back to normal. I've developed a routine. I wake up at eight and eat breakfast. At nine I clean the entire place. Twelve comes around and it's time for lunch. One and I go grocery shopping. The rest of the day I spend reading. I'm usually asleep by eight. I don't want to visit anyone or do much of anything outside as I'm too afraid that he'll just change his mind and take me again. He's developed a habit of just picking me up and running. I hate that I have so little to do though. Having so much free time means I sleep a lot. My nightmares haven't improved; if anything, they've gotten worse. Now not only do I see everything that's happened to me, but I also see horrible things that could happen. I've had so many nightmares of being ripped apart by wolves. Apex mentioned that he was a leader of wolves; I have no idea how many. What if he commands them to hurt me? I doubt he'd be above it considering how many times he's hurt me. I bet it'd hurt like hell to feel those big teeth and claws of his tearing through my skin. Luckily though all the physical damage he caused me has finally healed. My doctors gave me quite the stink eye with how much stress I put my voice under though. Apparently, people with broken hyoids shouldn't be screaming nearly as much as I did. The stress didn't damage my voice too much. They told me that I really should be more careful. I've sustained a lot of injuries over the last couple months. At this point I don't even bother to mention the cause of all my ailments. None of my doctors even seemed to realize that I'd gone missing out of the last hospital, so I doubt that they'd start caring about all that Apex had put me through. I almost miss him though. I wonder what he's been up to since he let me leave. He seemed so torn up that day he left. My heart clenches when I think about that day. I remember how I cried the second that he couldn't see me anymore. I know that I should hate him, but I don't. I hope that he's still going to therapy and getting better. He's clearly got some issues that he needs to work out. I don't know exactly what happened to him when he was a kid, but it obviously wasn't good. I've never seen someone with so many scars. Even with everything that he's put me through in the last couple months I still don't think I could imagine how painful some of those were to get. I've been considering seeing a therapist. I've been under so much stress lately I don't I think this is something I should do alone. It's not like I have anyone else. I think the biggest thing on my mind lately is whether I should reach out to my family. The constant threat of death has a way of making you want to rekindle old relationships. I know my sister must be worried sick about me. I haven't talked to her since I left years ago as a means of making sure no one else in my family could find me. With everything going on now I feel like I owe it to her. I've been looking at her social media profiles and have found her. She's supposed to start her junior year in high school soon. She's trying out for her school's swim team. It looks like she's gotten to just be a normal kid since I left. She still makes the occasional post about missing me, but I'm too scared that a call from me would screw up her whole life again. Besides, from what I can tell she's the only one that misses me. My mom has removed all evidence that I ever existed. You'd almost think that my sister is an only child. I didn't expect her to miss me though; she's too busy lavishing in her role as a housewife. The thing about her that kills me though is that she's pregnant with a new daughter. She's planning to name the kid Dianamph. She's completely replacing me. She couldn't even be bothered to pretend the kid wasn't my replacement. It feels like such a slap to the face for her to move on just like that. I never expected her to miss me, but this is something else entirely. Even though they've replaced me I don't doubt that they'd try to drag me back given the chance. If I went back, I'm sure that all of our lives would be ruined again. I just can't exist with my "family". Even though I have no one I desperately want to talk to someone. I'm not super close with any of my friends and it's not like any of them would understand my situation. Maybe there's one person who would get it. I go to my purse and find the card I've been carrying around with me.
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