This Is Us

Chapter 28

There's no way I can keep myself from giggling the entire ride to the zoo. Chris, sitting in the passenger seat is practically bouncing with his own excitement. I'm just unsure if it's because he's going somewhere he's never been, or if it is in fact because of the little boy he'll be surprising soon enough.

  "You look like a kid on Christmas morning, sitting at the top of the steps about to jump out of their skin until your parents tell you that you can come down," I laugh out.

Chris grins widely at me before turning his attention back to the road in front of us. He rubs his hands together and gives them a little clap. "I mean, I could try and play the moment off all cool and everything, but-"

"You really like zoos," I interrupt him.

He shakes his head, still grinning like a fool. "I really like Walker."

And my heart does that little fluttery thing that makes you wonder if you actually have an irregular heartbeat. But I quickly remind myself it's happened at least once or twice every time I'm in this man's presence and I don't need to be rushing out to schedule an appointment with the cardiologist.

I slow the car down at a red light. "This intersection is always the worst. I swear it's like a five minute interval before it gets back to this side." My hand tousles through my hair and I hear the click of a seat belt unbuckling.

"Five minutes, you say?" Chris asks, wiggling an eyebrow as he leans over the center console, one hand coming up to tilt my face towards him. "That gives plenty of time for a proper 'good morning,' don't you think?"

There's no time to answer as his lips descend on mine, unrushed as my blush builds in warmth under his palm. It's sweet and tender, unhurried. As I release a small sigh, parting my lips for him, the car behind me honks. I jerk towards the light, seeing that it's green, but the dash tells me it's literally been only a single minute.

Chris chuckles lightly, buckling back up as I step on the gas and get the car moving again. "They must've changed it," I admit, licking my lips at the loss of the pressure of his own.

I'm focused on the road ahead, making sure I can deliver Captain America in one piece to his biggest fan. So focused in fact that I don't pay much attention to Chris' fingers as they're messing around with the system on my dash. "Pardon me?" I ask.

"You're excused," he answers lightly, grinning like a fool as his thumb and forefinger twist the radio dial, changing my station.

He's completely unbothered, acting as though this is something we've done together for longer than a weekend. I wonder if this is actually how he is on a day to day basis. If I had to guess, I'd say no. I imagine he's always 'on,' never knowing when the next camera flash is going to blind him, or who's going to take a comment to a friend out of context and completely misquote him.

"Do you always play passenger princess?" I question him, glancing between the road in front of me and the lane to my right.

There's a hearty laughter that doesn't just fill the inside of my car, but my own chest. It's creating this feeling that I've not felt in so long, it's completely foreign at this point in my life. But one small taste of it, and already I feel addicted. Is this what a normal relationship feels like?

Slow your roll, AnnaBelle.

One date, a couple make out sessions and a gift of sexy pajamas does not a relationship make. Not to mention, this is Chris Evans we're talking about. The guy is gonna catch a Red Eye home tonight and who knows when you'll hear from him next.

So shut up and enjoy it while you can.

It's the less sensible side of my brain talking at this point. Telling me to shove aside everything that I actually know to be true and live in the what ifs. I don't know how to do that. I gave up on what ifs when Walker was diagnosed. Everything became medical terms, therapies and trying to find foods he could tolerate without gagging due to texture. Now my what ifs revolve around the rest of his life, worried as to how 'normal' it will be or how different it'll be compared to his cousins.

I hate my brain right now.

"Nah," Chris announces, thankfully stopping the mental tangent I've began, "only with the people I'm comfortable around. Which pretty much means my family and closest friends."

Take the bait, AnnaBelle. He's leaving you a wide open opportunity. You can see it when you glance over at him, the sparkle in his eyes, the slight upturn to the corner of his lip.

I swallow, desperate for some form of liquid to quench the bone dry mouth I've just encountered. I want to punch my inner voice, but instead, I lean into a 'what if.' "Well, I know I'm not family," I finally respond, flipping the blinker on to turn into the parking lot of the local zoo. "And you don't know me well enough for us to be close friends, so I suppose you're comfortable with just random women that you watch your film with while their son holds your hand." I fake giggle, mercy it sounds so forced. That is not the way my 'what if' was suppose to go.

Chris keeps his focus ahead of him, and I can't blame him one bit, it's a very impressive parking lot. But his words take me by surprise. "You're strange."

This time the giggle isn't forced as I actually guffaw at his words. "Scuse you." I slap his arm before putting the car in park, cutting the engine.

The crystal blue eyes finally come back to me, zoning in so easily, a strange strength behind them. "Lucky for you, I like strange."

"Well, then I suppose you found the right family tree to go barking at," I say, the words slipping out before I can even stop them. "Shit, no. That didn't come out right. That makes it sound like I'm speaking poorly of my own son. That's not-"

The rest of my statement is lost against his lips. There's nothing about this kiss that is extraordinary, unless you count the fact of who it's with. There's no tongue, no raw passion fueling it. It's simple, while still holding a mission. It flips the switch in my brain. The one that's about to pour my heart and soul into trying to make someone understand how much I love and adore my son, even with all of his differences and challenges.

There's roughly a half an inch between us when he pulls back. I can still feel that panic sitting in my chest, wanting so badly to correct my words, and I know it's shining through my eyes.

"Hey," Chris' voice is soft and soothing with one hand gently caressing my hair. "Don't do that." I can start to feel my lower lip tremble. "I knew what you meant. Someone would have to be blind to not see how much you care about Walker, how much you love him." He pauses, and quirks his brow. "And even if they were blind, they'd still be able to feel your adoration for your son radiate off of you."

I sigh a faint whisper of 'okay' and give him a nod. His lips curve into a sweet smile before he kisses the tip of my nose. "Now, we can sit here and I can keep barking up this tree as you so oddly offered," a little cut of a laugh slips out, "or we can go surprise your favorite guy with his favorite guy." The man wiggles his brow while his thumb points back at himself.

With a heartwarming smile of my own I lean in a little closer and peck his lips quickly. There's just something about his words about Walker that makes him different from everyone else. He speaks as though he really knows and cares for him. It both scares and excites me at the same time.

*Unedited