YOONMIN : Beautiful encounter

Part 31

Yoongi: The closure

"Wow, h-hyung, I-"

"Let me just finish," I sobbed loudly, wiping the tears that were flowing out my eyes like waterfalls.

Just thinking about the way I hurt him made me want to run away, never see him again in order to forget how I more that surely destroyed his life. I made him miserable when the only thing I wanted was to make him mine.

Doing the right thing in the wrong time was my mistake, my sin, losing him forever was the punishment. I did not deserve him, nor did he need me so I was determined to never love him. My affection hurt him, gave him wounds I doubted will ever heal, let alone stop stinging. Staying away was the least I could do.

I took a deep breath: "A-after that, he de-e-eveloped several mental-l d-disorders, including anxiety. He w-was taken to-o a hospital and I waited for d-day-ys in front of his room to ap-p-p-pologize until his mother told m-me to leave. When he was finally back to sch-ool, he didn't even remember me. The doctor-r said his .... b-brain refused to remember it due to all the physical d-dama-ge-e."

Tae widened his eyes.

"S-so he doesn't even know that you-"

"No, for god's sake, no. H-he doesn't know-w and it's kil-ling me. I-I-I ... feel so guilty, even now, after all t-those years. J-Jimin was not himself any-y-more and it was all my fucking fault."

I paused to cry out.

"After he wanted to date me? I was going fucking mad. I needed to reject the boy I loved so much it made me crazy. I longed, begged for his forgiveness, dreading the day he'll remember who I really was. A monster. I feared it to the point I had to leave him. And then ... he said he loved me."

I laughed humorously.

"He said h-he loved me. C-can you imagine ... receiving adoration ... from s-someone you have to l-let go? From someone y-you-u shattered to pieces? And then I had to f-fucking do it again, telling him he meant n-nothi-ng when in fact I ..."

I choked on it, the tears now wetting my neck. My throat restricted it out of instinct, the words I had to force down so many times. All of the times they almost crawled their way out of my mouth, piercing my body the way it had a huge hole at the front.

"You loved him," finished Tae, a sad but satisfied expression on his face.

I nodded furiously, once, twice, until I couldn't stop myself anymore.

The confirmation felt so good. I loved him. I love him.

"The d-day he left m-me was the final straw. When he showed no signs of coming back I was so down I needed to c-convince myself I never loved him, and it worked. I believed myself, that's how desperate I was. However, it o-only worked until I saw him again."

I sniffled, limbs numb and mind fogged, in need to be alone, to be hugged, to think, to finally make a move, tell the truth.

Tae obviously noticed it as he just gave me an assuring smile and got ready to leave.

"Tae ..."

He turned around at the door, a questioning look directed to me.

I sighed: "Thank you for this. Don't ... j-just don't tell him."

He froze until a devilish smirk appeared on his lips.

"Don't worry, hyung. I won't."