Drawn to the Sea

Chapter 9: Explanation

Douglass

How dare he? I took care of him for weeks, and he let me fall for him. He let me believe I had a chance when he had a boyfriend. How could I have been so stupid? I knew I wasn't supposed to love anyone, not even as a friend. I was supposed to stay alone, forever, if I wanted no one else to get hurt, including myself.

But of fucking course, I let someone in. I was repeating the same vicious cycle of falling for someone I could never have and getting wrecked by it in the end.

I shouldn't have kissed him. I shouldn't have let him kiss me back. I should've just left him in his apartment and told him to forget I existed and went back to the cave and packed my things. At least I had enough sense to do that after I realized how royally I'd screwed myself over.

I didn't pay attention to the sidewalk as I practically ran towards the only place I knew how to get to— the beach. I would always be able to tell which way the ocean was, it came with being a sea creature. I was thankful for that as my shoes hit the sand.

Despite my anger towards him, I wanted to go back. I hesitated before I even got to the first wave crashing against the shore.

What if I could make it work this time?

I shook my head, leaning down to take off my shoes. Once they were off, I dropped them in the sand and started walking into the water. Once I was up to my elbows in the freezing water, I shifted. My legs fused together, ripping my pants as they transformed into my tail. I dunked my head under, giving myself a moment for my gills to open up. Once I was breathing properly, I pulled my shirt off and let it float away.

I swam deeper until I was skimming the ocean floor. The coral reef was too colorful for my sour mood, so I sped through it and dove over the edge of the drop-off inter the deep waters around the island. I could see its silhouette looming, and I mentally cursed myself.

I'd lived in the caves before the humans had settled on the island one-hundred years before that point. I knew that I should've just moved again and found another cave to dwell in, but no. I had to convince myself no humans would bother me and stay in the damned cave. I actually thought I could live near humans and not get caught up in another forbidden one-sided love.

Idiot.

Once I noticed I'd been swimming for more hours than I could count, I stopped and looked around my surroundings. I was miles away from any land, that much a knew for sure. All that surrounded me was open water on all sides.

I just floated there for a moment, pondering on whether or not I should even go get my belongings. Moving would take me weeks, since I had to find a new cave, then pack all my things, then make various trips back and forth for months just to get my things to my new home. Maybe I could just roam the deepest depths of the ocean, never going up to the surface and living off of what I could find.

I sighed, turning back in the direction I came. As tempting as it sounded, it would be a miserable existence. Well, even more miserable than isolating myself in a cave for the rest of my immortal life. I needed my belongings if only so I could feel like I had a home I could go back to when the ocean was too endless and the land was too dangerously tempting.

Once I finally arrived at the underwater volcanoes, I dreaded packing a bag to find a new cave. I pushed the dead vines away from the entrance, swimming up until my head broke through the surface of the water and into the air pocket.

I pulled myself out of the water, lying on my back as I shifted into my human form. The glamour I used to conceal my scales and scars sang against my skin, but I ignored it. I pulled on a pair of pants that I left by the tunnel that lead to the ocean, then walked toward the stairs.

The last thing I expected to find when I made it to my main room was Nate sitting on my bed, tapping his foot nervously.

His face flooded with relief when he finally noticed me. "Oh my god, I was so worried you weren't coming back."

I looked away from him, instead choosing to walk over to my potions station and start making a potion to give me energy for my cave-searching. "What do you want?"

He got up but stayed by the bed. "I want to talk to you."

"What is there to talk about?" I asked harshly, chopping up a dried fruit more aggressively than I meant to.

"Are you serious? You stormed out and I spent an hour driving around to try and find you before I even thought about coming here!"

"Well, your boyfriend must be very curious as to where you've been. Why don't you go back to him?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Don't lie to me. I may have been naive enough to think you actually cared for the past weeks, but I've learned my lesson."

"What does that even mean?"

I slammed my knife down, turning to look at him. "It means that I'm leaving, Nate! I'm packing my things and finding a cave somewhere no one will be able to find me."

Nate's face fell. "Do you really think I would do that to you?"

I felt my eyes stinging, despite my attempts to seem distant and like I didn't care. "Considering it's what plenty of humans have done to me for the past thousands of years? Yes, I do. You would think a guy would learn his lesson after the first few times, but the world hates me!"

He tried to come forward. "Douglass, please just listen to me."

"Why should I? So you can convince me that you care and then break me down after I finally get comfortable again?"

Nate surged forward, grabbing the sides of my face and kissing me. He pulled away quickly, but he didn't remove his hands. "I do care! Peter and I broke up weeks before I found you in that lab! He's just so dense and self-serving that he doesn't believe I meant it, and what you saw was only half of the story."

I swallowed, taking his hands off my face and turning my back. "Do you have proof of that?"

"What?"

I clenched my fists, fighting against the tears in my eyes. "Do you have proof that you broke up? Anything that confirms it."

Nate stayed quiet for a moment, then turned me around and shoved a phone in my face. "Is this enough proof?"

I read what was on the screen, holding my breath. Messages between Nate and who I assumed to be Peter. Nate was telling him over and over that they were done and eventually, he said he was blocking Peter.

Once I was done reading, I took a shuddering break. "I'm sorry."

My voice cracked, and the dam I'd been trying to hold together broke completely. I dissolved into tears right then and there, because finally, someone wasn't lying when they told me they cared about me.

Nate pulled me into his arms, rubbing my back. "I accept your apology, Douglass, but we do need to talk about this more once you calm down."

I nodded into his chest, my hands, having a mind of their own, gripping the leather of his jacket.

After I got it all out of me, I sniffed and pulled myself away from him. He wiped my face, pursing his lips. "You ready to talk instead of yelling?"

I nodded, my face flushing with embarrassment. "Can we... let's sit down."

I walked over to my bed, plopping down and leaning against the wall with my knees curled into my chest. Nate sat in front of me, sliding off his shoes before he got on my bed.

He looked at me gently, folding his legs under him. "Okay. Let's talk."