I Wish // Yoon Jeonghan FF

CHAPTER 18

Mikaella

Its not just how I feel the butterflies in my stomach when he said it. Its not just the sparks fly it brought to me. Its not just the sound of my heart beat. The feeling I felt was beyond those words. Its indescribable.

Is he jealous?

I don't know.

Maybe?

The Jeonghan I married was far from the man I am talking to right now. He would never say these words. He would never---

I sighed.

"Damn him and his words. Its making me go wild."

I just smiled at my own thought. We are now on our way back to the hotel. His hands on his pocket, his cap almost covering his whole face with his mask on. Everyone couldn't tell who I was with, but they could clearly tell that I'm with a famous idol. 

"I really wanted to know why you always prefer to be alone." A few moment of silence had passed before I heard him talk. "Just like last time, you were eating alone at the convenience store."

I smiled. Glad he noticed that little thing about me. "It's super late." I secretly looked at his side. "Perhaps, just like the last time, I guess its rude to ask someone to eat with me especially at this hour."

Even now that we are talking to each other, it still seemed like there's a wall between us.

I heard him chuckled. "You're still the same. The same Elly I know. "

His words made me stop.

Elly. The same Elly.

I looked at his back as he continuously walk. I couldn't hear his voice now from where I was standing.

Tears started to fall from my eyes. 

He remembered. He remembered what I was like back then.

"Everytime we see each other, I always make you cry."

His voice is full of disappointment. I didn't even notice how he suddenly appeared in front of me. And with those words, I saw how he slowly lifted his hands up trying to reach my face.

My mind was blank. I couldn't look at him. "Jeonghan stop." I mumbled wiping my tears. "Don't do it. Someone might see us."

He scoffed as his hand stop midway, forming into a fist. "That." He uttered bitterly.

I never felt his hands on me. Rather he brought it back down. A few minutes had passed before he spoke. "I guess you should rest now. I'll see you tomorrow at the shoot. Bye."

That was his last remarks before he walked away and left. I stared at his figure slowly disappearing from my sight. 

I am so into him. For the past years, I yearned for his affirmations. Now that he started to act like what I dreamed him to be, my feelings also started to get wary.

"How I wish I could show the world how much you mean to me." I whispered to myself. "How I wish that were both free to do what I dreamed us to be."

**************

A loud knock from my room brought me back to my senses. I was told that a staff would just pick me up so I woke up early to prepare for the shoot. I didn't had enough sleep last night. My thoughts just kept on wandering about what happened.

I heaved a deep sigh trying to focus. This is the first day of our shoot and I need to set my mind straight. Better leave a great impression on my first day or else, I'm not gonna be able to buy a paint for my project.