As I walk out the doors at the end of the day, I see Claire and Grace and we all walk over to each other. There is this strange feeling. Like if we just stay here, we won't know if we got in or not. But if we go home, we might find out that we didn't. For a few more minutes, while we don't get to feel relief and happiness, we at least know we aren't feeling sadness and disappointment.
There have been so many times this year that I wish I could just have stayed in one moment a little longer because now I know how awful the next moment was. Could I have just enjoyed that day off a little longer? That extra day to do what I want. That warm sun with the beach sand between my toes. It will never feel the same ever again, sand will always bring me back. And now, as I stand here, I don't really want to go home.
All day, I've been counting down the minutes to get home. I mean at first it might have been to get away from the nasty comments about Green Star Girl. But now, I just want to live in this moment a bit longer.
"What do you think? Should we just hang out a bit longer? Not know a bit longer?" I ask Claire and Grace.
Grace seems a bit indifferent either way but Claire flashes me a look that could cut a person.
"Are you crazy?" she asks, just completely flabbergasted that I would suggest such a thing. "I need to get home, like yesterday. I love you guys, I really do, but I gotta go."
And with that, Claire spins on her heel and practically sprints away. We watch her until she disappears at the end of the block around a corner.
"I honestly did not expect her to keep up that speed for so long," Grace says. We both laugh.
"I really hope she gets in," I say.
"I hope she gets in more than I hope I get in," Grace replies.
"Same."
And with that, we both exhale, realizing we can't stay on the school lawn forever.
"I guess this is it," Grace says as she gives me a tight hug.
"Good luck," we both say to each other. And I start the long walk home.
As I start walking, I feel the anxiety in my stomach. For the first time in this whole stupid year, everything is going well. I have a crush. I have my best friends. My mom and I are in a good place. Will everything be ruined if I don't get in?
I walk up to my house and my mom is on the front porch.
"Hey mom," I say a bit cautiously. This feels weird.
"Oh hey Lucy," she tries to say nonchalantly, and fails miserably.
She begins waving something at me and I quickly realize that she's waving a stack on envelopes.
"You have some mail," she says. "And all of them, every envelope, they're all pretty thick. I mean I am no expert, definitely not an expert, but that seems like a good sign, right? I mean if the message is one way, that's just a simple letter, why send anything else. But if it goes the other way, that's a lot more, much more information that they need to send you. That's what I think is happening here. I mean, it's what I hope. I don't know Lucy, I've just been home alone all day, staring at these, waiting for you to get home. I am rambling. I am right? Rambling? Ya, I think I am rambling."
She pauses to take a breath. I don't know where to start. But I start to feel maybe a bit of hope. Her theory makes sense. A thicker envelope must be a good sign.
I walk onto the porch and grab the envelopes from her and sit down on the steps. Here they are. Three envelopes. Three responses to three separate Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and Creative Writing program applications. One in town, one not too far away and one really far away.
I look at my mom, not sure what to do. She looks at me, practically shaking with excitement.
"OPEN THEM!" she screams.
"Geez mom, calm down a bit," and we both laugh. She is way more nervous than I am.
I decide to open them by distance. Closest school first, then not so far, then super far.
Here goes nothing. I tear it open and pull out the letter from Gebeller University.
Dear Lucy, blablabla, we are happy to inform you...
I start screaming. My mom looks at me. I nod. She starts screaming. We both get up and jump around.
"Ok, ok, we've got two more," I say as I sit down.
Next envelope. The not too close, not too far school, San Sebastian University.
Dear Lucy, We are happy to inform you...
I start screaming again. My mom, more prepared this time, joins in immediately. We jump around some more.
"Ok, ok, one more." I open it and there it is. Galetown University.
"THREE FOR THREE!!!" I scream.
My mom runs over to hug me and knocks me over and we both fall onto the ground, laughing and screaming together.
Once we've finally lost our voices, we stay lying there, looking up at the sky.
What a year. What. A. Year. This has been.
YOU ARE READING
Dispatches from a Teenage Girl
Teen Fiction[FEATURED x5] When Lucy's estranged father dies suddenly, she knows she is not going to have the Senior Year of her dreams - it is definitely not starting out as her best year ever, that's for sure. Instead, she begins to question the point of it al...
