28th of April, 2023

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Yesterday, I learned a lot of lessons in one day.

That life is a cruel metaphor, a bitter irony, a sweet reminder and a deluding fantasy.

The question I was asking myself was, have I not learned my lesson? Was the pain not sufficient, was the suffering not great enough?

I learned it the hard way, despite all of the preparations I have made. The question I am asking myself for days to come after yesterday would be the same.

Have I learned my lesson?

I have so many questions for myself but none of them I have answers for.

All I have is my deep love for everything, and nothing at the same time.

No subterfuge was involved. But it felt like an act, a form of theatrics meant for sole purposes of indulging both the audience and the actor himself, in a perplexed state of disbelief.

Goodness! How far we have fallen. How far we have diverged from who we were and who we had wanted to be. Have we any hope to reconcile with the hopes and dreams of our praeterita?

In all honesty...I do not know.

I do not dare to guess.

This world has taken from me my ability to believe, to expect greatness and to hold on hopes of what has been...and what's to come.

All that is left in me, is my ability to create greatness.

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