The creative Awards

ACTION

Congratulations to the winners and our One runner up! Keep up your good works everyone!

Judge of Action genre: Fata_Viola

1st place: Timelines Collide by CloneRazorX155

Cover :  8/10

• Tittle : 9/10

• Blurbs:  7/10

• First impact: 7/10

• Twist/ Plots: 8/10

• Story line : 8/10

• Character : 8/10

• Grammar : 7/10

• Enjoyment : 8/10

• Last Impact : 9/10

Overall : 79/100

Review: This is a really strong action novel. The author really knows what they’re doing. From the very beginning, you’re being immersed in the world’s conflict and the characters’ motivations. There are a lot of symbols, a complicated (yet not incomprehensible) storyline, and a fair amount of plot twists. The writing is very descriptive, yet leaves sufficient room for the reader’s imagination. The action scenes stand out against the quieter scenes, which sometimes still need some work, but I have faith that over time, CloneRazorX155 will become an even better and professional novel writer.

Feedback: Hey CloneRazorX155, I am Fata_Viola and I have judged your novel Timelines Collide for the Creative Awards. Here is some feedback I’d love to give you after reading the first chapters of your novel.

       First of all, I love your cover and title. It is intriguing, artistic and already tells a lot about what to expect. Just know that the font is a little difficult to read, especially with the silver shine in the letters.
Your first chapter was probably my least favorite chapter, because half of the time, I had no idea what was going on. Remember that a reader has zero knowledge of the world you created, so even if you explain it all, it is easy to forget names of characters, organizations, or to remember which organization belongs to which side. All that information, combined with the six or seven characters that are all being introduced, is just too much for one chapter. I’d advise you to keep that in mind for your future writings. Leave some names out, mention only what is absolutely necessary. The reader will love discovering more about the enemies, the world, the situation over the course of the novel.
Your characters were lovely. All so different, yet easy to distinguish. Even though I’d only gotten a few chapters from some of them, I’d already become very emotionally attached to them, because the protagonist describes them all so vividly. You really feel that there is already some history between them and that is very good writing. I was really sad to see a lot of them go in the first fight. One weak point: don’t “overdescribe” them. Remember the writing’s golden rule “show, don’t tell.” Leave some space for the reader’s imagination. In this case, I mostly mean the physical description of your characters, which was a bit too much “tell”. Your characters’ personalities were a perfect example of “show.”
I have little to say about the action scenes, which were in my eyes flawless. That's really your strong point, I’d love to see you work more in this genre in the future.
And lastly, there are still a few grammar mistakes (their/they’re, your/you’re), or some unnecessary commas followed by a capital. Nothing you can’t fix, but it might be worth your time to do a final readthrough purely for the spelling before uploading a chapter.
That’s it. I hope you don’t take my criticism too personally. I wish you much luck and fun in your writing future!