This Love | ✓

Part 27

"Come on," Zach singsonged, shoving a handful of books into the topmost shelf. "Dish the dirt."

I looked up from where I was sitting on the carpeted floor and asked, "What dirt?"

"What's going on between you and Mr. Gorgeous Heterochromatic?" he demanded, turning around and leaning against the bookshelf. "Tell me everything."

I laughed at Zach's nickname for Jason. "Well, Jason came over yesterday. We watched Snakes on a Plane."

"And?" Zach prompted, his sapphire eyes widening with expectation.

"I'm going to meet his parents next weekend," I said, feeling nervous and proud at the same time.

"Wow," Zach breathed, his face contorting with a look of surprise. "That's fast."

I remained silent for a few moments, pondering over his words. 

My skin prickled with tension when I finally asked, "Is that bad?"

"No, hun," he hurried to clarify, running a hand through his flawlessly styled hair. "I just meant that . . . Jason must really like you."

My shoulders relaxed as I broke into a smile. "I hope so."

Pushing away from the bookshelf, Zach collapsed next to me on the floor.

"So, is that all you two did?" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, his voice taking on a familiar, teasing tone.

Heat crept into my face at the insinuation in his words.

"Look at you," Zach cried, his rumbling laughter echoing through the aisle. "You're red as a tomato!"

"No, I'm not," I muttered, turning my face away from his view.

"Did you have sex?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave. "You did, didn't you?"

"No, we didn't," I answered immediately and truthfully, my voice sounding high-pitched to my own ears.

"Really?" Zach wondered, tipping his head to the side. "You really didn't have sex?"

"Oh god," I breathed, slapping my palm to my forehead. "Can you please stop saying 'sex'?"

"Hun, we're not in fourth grade," Zach sniggered. "We're adults. We can say 'sex'."

Not in any sort of hurry to agree with him, I remained silent, my gaze roaming over the bookshelves at Athena's Used Books. 

"I mean," Zach continued, his bright eyes filled with amusement. "What else am I supposed to call it?"

"How about we don't call it anything," I mumbled.

"Do you think it's better when I say 'sexual intercourse'?" he grinned. "Or 'bang'? 'Screw'? 'Doing the deed'? 'Doing the nasty'?"

"Oh my god," I shrieked, unable to hold back a bout of laughter. "Shut up!"

"A little horizontal tango?" Zach shimmied his shoulders, clearly enjoying my mortification. "Bumping uglies?"

"What?" I snorted. "Bumping uglies?"

"Haven't heard that one?" he asked, grinning devilishly.

"No," I laughed again. 

"Whatever you want to call it, you can talk to me about it," he said, turning serious. "I have a lot of advice to give."

"Do you?" I questioned, trying to suppress a grin.

"You know, I could actually write a book about it," he said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "I'd call it Lessons From Zach's Sexual Misadventures."

I rolled my eyes, picking up the nearest book -- an old, yellowing copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- and swatting Zach's chest with it.

"Or maybe The Complete Guide to Bumping Uglies," he suggested, looking at the iconic Douglas Adams novel in my hand. "So long, and thanks for all the sex."

"Ew," I cried, bursting into laughter at Zach's ridiculous interpretation of a famous quote from the book.

Before he could say anything else, I spoke up, "I do want your advice about something else."

"Ask away," he replied, crossing his arms.

"Do you have any tips for when I'm meeting Jason's parents?" I asked dubiously. 

"Oh, but of course," Zach said in a British accent, sounding freakishly similar to his boyfriend, David. Holding up his index finger, he announced, "Rule number 1: Be very careful when you address them. Don't ever make the mistake of calling them 'Mom' or 'Dad'. It's even worse than calling your teacher 'Grandma'."

"Oh god," I gasped. "That would be so mortifying!"

Lifting his middle finger, he said, "Rule number 2: Don't try too hard to be funny. Remember, they are parents, which means they're old. They most probably won't understand your sense of humour. Being funny is charming, sure, but don't try too hard. They might think of you as phoney or unfunny."

I fiddled with the strap of my backpack, playing a thousand horrific scenarios involving Jason's parents in my head. 

What if they think I'm a phoney, unfunny weirdo?  

What will I do if I accidentally call them 'Mom' or 'Dad'?

Zach's ring finger shot up. "Rule numb —"

A sudden ringing noise emanated from his jeans pocket, interrupting his speech. It took me a moment to realise that his phone was playing the chords of an iconic love song from the 1960s. 

"It's David," Zach explained, holding his phone near his face. 

"I'll give you some privacy," I smiled, making a move to stand. "Tell David I said hi."

"No, stay," he insisted, waving his arm in a dismissive gesture. Pressing Answer on his phone, he sang, "Hey, Dave!"

He listened to David for a few moments in silence.

"Yay," he shouted. "Oh, Leena says hi, by the way."

He grinned at whatever David said on the other end of the phone. 

"Yeah, that's a great idea," he enthused with a nod. "I'll tell her! I'll make sure they come."

I tipped my head in confusion, waiting for an explanation.

"You're the best," he said to David. "I love you, too. Bye, babe."

"So, there's this gorgeous drive-in theatre an hour away from here," Zach began, returning his phone to his pocket. "They play horror movies every Sunday. There's a spot open, and David and I want you and Jason to come with us."

"This Sunday?" I enquired. 

"Yeah, please say you'll come," Zach begged, wringing his hands together. "You have to come."

"I'd love to," I answered excitedly. "I'll tell Jason today!"

"Yay," Zach cheered again. "A double date!"

"A double date," I echoed, grinning from ear to ear.

All my worries about Jason's parents faded into the background as my mind whirred with excitement about my first ever double date.

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Love,

Amethyst