Save You Tonight

48.

"And high up above or down below,
When you're too in love to let it go,
But if you never try you'll never know,
Just what you're worth.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I."

That's when the tears started to fall. I know why Harry chose this song. He's trying to tell me that he learnt from his mistake and he wants to 'fix me'. He's said from the very beginning that he wanted to help me get back to the person I was before Kaleb and he was doing that, taking me to things I've never done as a child or even as an adult. I was getting there, with his help, but he had to go do something stupid and send me right back to the beginning. Now he's asking for one more chance.

The song ends and after a short pause the second song on the playlist begins. It was a song I've never heard before from a band I've never heard of either but the music sounded good. The song was called Scene One- James Dean & Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping With Sirens. Right off the song gets to me.

"Stay for tonight
If you want to
I can show you
What my dreams are made of,
As I'm dreaming of your face
I've been away for a long time
Such a long time
And I miss you there
I can't imagine being anywhere else
I can't imagine being anywhere else but here.

How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, 'cause I could sing you a song
But I don't think words can express your beauty
It's singing to me
How the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me
I fell in love from the moment we kissed
Since then we've been history.

They say that love is forever
You forever is all that I need
Please stay as long as you need
Can't promise that things won't be broken
But I swear that I will never leave
Please stay forever with me."

I hastily wipe away tears as they fall down my face. This song is so sweet. He's expressing his love for a someone, saying her love is all that he needs and he wants her forever. Is that what Harry is trying to explain to me, that he wants to be with me for forever? Is he questioning why I would ever pick him? He has no reason to feel insecure about our relationship. There's no guy out there that's better than him, despite the mistake he made.

The third song starts playing- Gotta Be You, and I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at his choice of song, not because it was funny, but because it was one of his songs. I've listened to this song plenty of times, I know the lyrics by heart, but the words never sunk in until this very moment. Every single lyric, every single line hit me like a ton of bricks. Harry was admitting that he messed up, that he made a mistake and he knows he hurt me and now he's asking for a second chance. I may have heard this song a million times but now there's more meaning behind it. I've never going to listen to this song the same way again.

Beside You by Marianas Trench starts playing next and I close my eyes as I lean back and rest my head in the back of the recliner. Each line hit home, relating to me somehow. "And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense." All the nights I spent awake, no matter how badly I wanted to close my eyes and sleep, I couldn't. I couldn't close my eyes and see those things that made my heart ache. "When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath." Me, every single time I see Harry. Every time I see him, everything starts replaying in my mind, memories coming back. They are mostly all good but that night at the club still comes back, knocking the breath out of me every single time. "Trust in me, trust in me. Don't pull away. Trust in me. Trust in me. I'm just trying to keep this together, because I could do worse and you could do better." This part hit me the hardest. Harry's asking for me to trust him, to trust him again after everything. He's telling me he's trying to keep myself together because he knows he's capable of doing worse and he knows I could do better. I hope that he wouldn't do anything worse than what he did, knowing how badly it hurt me. But knowing he thinks I could do better is baffling to me. Just thinking back on all the sweet things he's done for me, I don't think they get any better than him.