Sinner

Yoongi

"S-stop! Wait!"
I groan as Jimin climbs off and stares at me with wide eyes and puffy bruised lips that I just want to attack again and get rid of the other guy's taste from his mouth.
"What are we doing? I thought.."
I sit up. "What? You don't want this?" I ask, knowing he does.
"You know I do but...you've always been so fucking clear where we stand and now I don't understand anything. What happened to that line?" He asks, wrapping his arms around himself.
      I glare at him, hurt. "That line fucking disappeared when you left me to go fuck someone! I t-thought we were in this together and maybe it was a little selfish of me to think you'd actually maybe wait for me I guess that was just stupid!"
      He scoffs. "What?! You made it very clear there would be nothing romantic about us! Why can't I be happy and have a life? I have needs, Yoongi! I'm not a virgin like you! I have needs." He repeats.
      I nod slowly. "And I will provide those needs for you. I've been thinking about it all night and you're right. I was being stupid to think you could go without. I won't do that to you anymore. I can't stand the thought of someone else touching you anymore. Let me do it." I suggest, my cheeks flushing.
     He stares at me in shock. "I don't know what you mean? You want...to take care of my needs? My sexual needs?" He sounds dumbfounded.
      I nod, pulling him back onto my lap.  He shudders as our naked skin rubs against each other and I groan. "I will do anything to keep you by my side. I won't be selfish anymore, okay? You deserve better and it isn't right of me."
      He huffs, his hands falling on my shoulders and he slowly begins grinding down on my aching cock. "I d-don't want to force this from you. I've wanted this for so long but...I feel like I'm pressuring you." He frowns.
      I grab his hand and slide it between us to my dick. He moans and strokes me. "Does this feel like I'm being forced?" I ask, raising a brow.
       His hand moves faster making me fall backwards and thrust my hips up, his ass bouncing on my balls as his hand continues to work me.
      My breath catches as a tingling burn works down my body to my balls and I cry out, cumming all over his hand. I close my eyes to rest-only to gasp in surprise as Jimin's wet tongue presses all over my groin, licking up my mess.
      I moan and watch his tongue work, him swallowing it all. I grip his ass again and pull him forward until he's straddling my stomach. He rocks his hips against my abs, trying to find friction.
       My hands explore his body. I really have no idea what I'm doing but seeing Jimin walk away from me for some other guy really got to me. Never again. I'll do anything to keep him satisfied and only mine.
      "What do you want?" I whisper as his upper body falls onto my chest and his lips meet mine. He kisses me hungrily as if he's been starving for me and I love it. The thought of knowing he's wanted me for so long.
      He leans away an inch and stares into my eyes. "Fuck me, please. C-can you?" He pleads, his dick dripping sticky precum all over my stomach.
      "Anything you want." I swallow hard and turn us over so he's on his back staring up at me with a desperation that makes me tremble by the depth of it.
      I kiss his lips a few more times before slowly trailing wet kisses down his body, pausing nervously at his stomach. I really don't know what to do...
      "You don't have to-"
     "Shh." I cut him off. "Just give me a minute." I sit up on my knees and stare down at his lovely body, so beautiful and graceful. He bites his bottom lip, anxiety showing on his face.
      I hesitantly touch his inner thighs, pushing them apart and he follows my lead, spreading himself wide for me. I freeze as I take in everything-his heavily leaking pink cock, his heavy balls, and his pretty pink slightly gaping hole.
      Licking my dry lips, I suck on my finger before slowly pressing it inside him. He moans loudly and rocks his hips against it. "Yoongi!"
       I add another finger, thrusting them in and out of him fast, searching for his sweet spot. Over the years just out of curiosity, I've done my research on how to do this. I wasn't sure this would ever happen-hoped it wouldn't-but I wanted to be prepared. Of course reading about it is way different than actually doing it...
      "I'm ready! God, I need your dick inside me! Now!" He cries pulling my ass forward, his nails digging in as I try to sloppily line myself up and slam inside him. He keens so loud my ears ring and I have no chance to let either of us to adjust as Jimin flips us and immediately begins riding me hard and fast, his ass slamming down hard as he bounces on my dick.
      I grunt and try to meet his thrusts, our skin slapping together loudly in the usually quiet room. He moans and claws at my shoulders, his lips working my neck and chest, leaving deep hickeys in my skin, claiming me over and over again.
      I let him. I give him everything he's been wanting for so long. I won't be selfish any longer. I'll give him all of me if it keeps him happy and with me. I know I can't live without him and he's done so much for me, gave up so much.
      "Fuck! Yoongi! I'm cumming!" He slams his ass down, twisting his hips sexily as he screams, cumming hard all over me. I thrust up into his clenching hole to catch my own second release. My hands latch onto his hips as I feel myself cum as well.
      He whines, still slowly working his hips over me, making sure to milk every last drop out of me. Both of us are covered in sweat and our slick fluids by the time we collapse back on the sheets.
      Jimin moans, still clearly oversensitive as he clings to me, closing his eyes, his lips still kissing all over my face and chest. "You're mine now. Always." He mumbles, already half asleep.
      I stay awake for a long time after he passes out. Completely sober and somber as I stare at the ceiling. I've never seen Jimin this way and it's eye opening. It makes me think about when he was a teen and with my brother. I bet they did this all the time....
     I run my fingers through his hair and peck his forehead, listening to him grumble in his sleep. I refuse to regret my decision to deepen our relationship. Sure, I'm a little overwhelmed and trying not to freak out.
I'm not a virgin anymore. It takes longer than it should to process this. It shouldn't be a big deal but it is. At least to me. I'm more than willing to give it all to Jimin though. Just because it's him.
      I will do anything to keep him mine. Even if it slowly eats me inside. The one thing I had to show for my hard work over the years was my purity and it may be stupid to everyone else but I feel overly vulnerable without that safety blanket.
      I've told myself for years that it's okay to be with Jimin and loving him because I haven't crossed that line and committed that sin. I prided myself on that. Now that it's gone...
      I feel lost.
      I just pray that Jimin will continue to stay by my side and lead me away from that darkness that always haunts me. The voices that tell me everything I do is for nothing.
      I have a secret. I big one I've never told anyone. Except my appa. He knew the truth. That's why he hated me. It's why he did what he did to me. I deserved everything I got from him. I've tried everything else to stop them. The voices. Only pain and suffering has worked. My appa knew this.
      I asked him to do it. Yes, he went a little overboard and was never meant  to hurt Hoseok but...I'm afraid for Jimin to learn the truth about me.
      I'm afraid for him to see the true darkness that lurks inside me. Why I focused all my life energy on being good and never stepping out of line. I needed that strict control. I needed that balance.
      I've been using my virginity as that line. Controlling all my energy on that.
      I can feel it now. I have nothing else to hold me back from that line. I'm done balancing and it's all over. Ten years of effort down the drain all for this one boy that may now have to bear all my baggage.
      The reason why my parents really adopted Hoseok. Why they've always hated me and focused all their love on him.
How can I keep Jimin from getting hurt now? I won't be able to stop myself.