[5] Not This Way

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You look and act niceYou smile adorable, It's so niceYou answer so funny it's so niceYou look really nice

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You look and act nice
You smile adorable, It's so nice
You answer so funny it's so nice
You look really nice

Who's this guy?
Why is he making me so shy?
This is so wrong, oh my
Has my love for him gone by?

You look soft
But you look dominant
You look weak
But your looks pull me so strong

Looking like a masterpiece painting pinned up
You pull me down, You pull me up
Looking so bright outside my window like a sun
It's you who really won

Why do you keep tighten your grip?
When all I did was resist?
I didn't want to fall to that deep pit
But you pulled me, now I'm stuck in this mist

I somehow wished I never met you
Because you made fall in love for you
You saw vulnerability, so you used it too
Because you know I'd fell in love with you

I hate that I feel this way
It shouldn't be this way
Am I the one who doesn't know to be contented
All because I was so hard headed

I'm well aware that this might be a sin
But I'm allowed to feel
It'll only be a sin if I put an act in
It might still be a sin for others, but that's how I feel

"If he wanted to, he would"
He don't have control everything even if he would
"If I don't want to, I wouldn't"
I'm powerless, But my actions wouldn't

I believe in no god
This feeling is making me so mad
Is looking at someone else something bad?
Is writing about someone else breaks dams?

I'm allowed to look
I'm allowed to write about you in books
I'm allowed to look and look and look away
But none of this should be this way

I'm allowed to come close
I'm allowed to show no shows
I'm allowed to feel the attraction I did not pray for
But not this way

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