OBSESSIVE

never,

you were sobbing about your
parents divorce again,
even after all the time that had flown by.

but this time, on another shoulder;
and i wonder if he wore specially
absorbent clothes just for your tears?

or was he just better at dealing
with your catastrophic mindset,
undoing knots in your cerebellum
with his nimble fingers?

because either way, you were
beaming constantly afterwards,
as we went to drink coffee together.

you leaned forward and whispered,
your breath scented by caffeine and cream,
"you should find your soulmate too, declan."

you tapped your pinkie
affectionately against my nose.

my teeth ground together.

"i'm sure i already have."

"really?" you said absent-mindedly,
stirring your skinny latte with a wooden stick.
"then why are you still single?"

i shrugged my shoulders,
letting my eyelids droop.

"you should really go for it.
you don't know how much matthew
has helped me getting over my parent's
divorce. i finally feel i can move on.
and my mum approves. she took one
look at him, and hauled me into the
kitchen, hissing enquiries." you
giggled girlishly, unknowingly twirling
your hair around and around your finger.

constricting me tighter and tighter.

"matthew is my saviour.
he's helped me more than anyone-"

screech. the sound of my chair scraping
backwards.

"i have to go to the bathroom." i
interrupted, ignoring
your inquisitive eyes as they followed me across
the bustling café.

in the bathroom,
i clenched the sides of the sink
with both my hands and i glared
into my reflection. i wasn't bad looking;
i was actually quite striking when i
bothered with my appearance.

but i only had self-hate in that moment.

and for matthew.

two years helping you, skye,
and it was all forgotten by some
dreary, lost-boy blonde?

i decided that i was going to destroy him with my own hands.

and destroy him i did.