OBSESSIVE

skye,

i still remember the night
when we were falling asleep
together on your mum's
threadbare rug, on your
thirteenth birthday.

i had you wrapped in my
arms, and you had your
hand, barely noticeable,
fluttering against my cheek.

i was looking at you, into you
and i felt like i was enveloped in
hysteria.

your breaths were sweet, and tickled
my nose. i could barely see you,
but the moonlight trickled onto
your expression, and you looked so
content.

"do you remember kieran?" you asked
me quietly.

"from two years ago?"

"yeah."

a silence.

"i wonder if my first
real boyfriend was like that,
will i have any luck with the rest?"

i pulled you closer to me,
until your angel heartbeat was the
metronome to mine,
and i said, "skye, he was an arsehole."

"i can't help wondering
if every guy will treat me like that.
cheating on me i mean.
my dad's cheating on my mum, you know."
you sat up, abruptly, your hand shaking
as you raked it through your loose waves.
"i'm so scared that love doesn't exist."

it was right in front of you,
skye. i always loved you.

i tapped your arm.
"skye. you've only just turned thirteen.
you have many years ahead of you
to worry about love. kieran was one
wave in an entire sea, a speck of dust
on one singular plant in a whole
field. don't let bad pasts depict the future."

slowly, you lowered yourself
back down and snuggled into me.

"if you weren't my best friend,
i could honestly love you, declan."

"shh. go to sleep, angel."

"i love you." you said lightly.

i knew you meant it lightly.
but all the same my heart beat
fast.

i closed my eyes. "i love you, too."