if i love you was a promise | b.e

thirty four

i am sO sorry this update took so long, exams are coming up and i have sooo much to do. ill be out of school in 3 weeks so after that updated will be back to normal. love youuu 🖤

billie and i leaned on the wall of the boat as we drifted away from the island.

"i wish we could just stay." billie sighed, her eyes tearing up from the wind.

"me too." i replied. "but the festival will be dope."

"yeah, of course." billie smiled. "it was just nice being kind of normal for a day. like a trial run of what my life could be like without all of this."

i smiled sympathetically. "i know."

the boat was calm even though it was the near the end of november. the sun was just barely showing, making it cold outside but there was no breeze apart from the movement of the boat.

"billie?" i asked after a while of standing there.

"mhm?"

i stopped leaning on her shoulder, making her turn to look at me.

"in three weeks you'll be 18. in two months ill be 17. what's gonna happen when-"

"hey, don't worry about that. we'll find a way. i promise." billie smiled, playing with the ends of my hair.

"how can you promise?"

"i don't know how we'll do it, but i do know that we're not going to break up just because of our age. ok?"

i nodded as she moved behind me and hugged me from the back, keeping me warm. "ok."

***

about twenty minutes later, we were greeted by the rest of the family on the pier. there was a black car parked beside them which i assumed we'd be driving back to dublin in.

"did you have a good time?" patrick asked as we made our way up the steps.

"yeah, amazing." billie said.

i smiled slimly at him, remembering what happened in the bathroom. patrick and maggie had no idea about what happened at the party or on the island. i wondered if billie would ever tell them.

we got straight into the car and began our three hour journey.

"there's a surprise waiting at the hotel for you, billie." maggie smiled breathlessly as she sat in the front.

"a surprise?" billie asked in a baby voice.

"you'll see." maggie winked, turning back to face the front.

billie lay down and rested her head on my lap. "im going to sleep, don't let me fall." she grinned, pointing a finger at me.

"ill try my best." i laughed at her, stroking her hair. she sighed and closed her eyes as finneas connected his phone to the car and streamed his playlist.

an hour passed, but i wasn't tired. my mind trailed off in a thousand different directions.

i was startled by billie saying something a little while later. it was more a mumble, so i couldn't really hear. "what?" i asked quietly. she didn't reply, then i realised she was talking in her sleep. i chuckled and diverted my attention from her again.

a few seconds later, she did it again.

"joey."