𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓽𝔂 𝓢𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓼

54 | cries from the heart

I've been continuously knocking on her apartment door for the last twenty seconds, not understanding any of my messed up thoughts.
She finally showed up, a frown on her face and I pushed myself in, not waiting a single more second.

"Amanda? Really? You don't answer to any of my text and turn up out of nowhere like that?"

I totally and shamelessly ignored that comment, instead I began to walk back and forth in the room, arms tightly crossed over my chest.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I finally questioned even though I already knew the answer. I just felt the need to ask again.

"We barely had time alone and-"

"That's only because you kept refusing to see me! Or talk to me." I uncontrollably snapped at her, feeling the frustration of my whole week coming back in a wave.

"I know. I'm sorry but there's something you need to know." She lowly explained like I was a little girl, slowly joining me but still remaining a few feet away.

"Oh great there's more. What is it? I'm dying to know." I ironically said, clearly not realizing how serious she was.

"I will be part of this trip. That's why I was struggling to tell you. I'll be away for weeks."

Wait, what?
I needed her to repeat that one more time just to make sure I had heard it right.

"You... are going to Paris." I even repeated like a broken parrot, blankly staring at her.
On a scale from one to ten my level of surprise was definitely at the max right now.

She gave me a slight nod "I will."

"But... why- I mean, do you have to?"

"Of course. Otherwise I'd definitely stay here with you, I even argued with the principal but apparently my non existent cats weren't good enough of a reason for me to stay." She rolled her yes, leaning her weight on the back of the sofa, observing my surely weird reaction.
I haven't even remarked that my anger had gradually faded away to now leave place for confusion.

My mouth opened several times, but it took me a while to finally found words to put in.
"How long?" I suddenly hated the childish voice I just used, having the awful feeling of déjà-vu.
Like everytime my mom told me she would go away, and the little me was just not understanding why.

"Four weeks." She announced, making me back away as if she had just slapped me right in the face.

"Holy fucking shit." I couldn't help but release, not even earning the death glare she usually gave to her students when they cursed in class as she knew how fucked up this situation actually was.
"Four weeks?! That's awfully long." I couldn't help but raise my voice again.

"I know." She sighed, closing her eyes for a second.

Of course that was why she didn't tell me right away, now I understood. And I even wondered why on Earth I once got mad at her while all she did was struggling by herself and trying to find solutions. I mean she even argued with Miss White? Nobody would like to argue with the principal, not if they cared about their job. And her position was definitely important for her but she nevertheless did it. She even lied on the aim to find a solution.