Behind the psycho || Rafe Cameron x Reader || OBX fanfic

seventeen

When he saw me stop, he walked to his motorcycle and kicked it. "Rafe..." I whispered and watched him with hesitant eyes. JJ could've died...and this wasn't the first time Rafe had nearly killed someone. 

I felt like I was floating away from the Earth and there was nothing near me to keep me on the ground. 

He yelled, "I'm so sick of this shit!" Rafe pulled at his hair and I saw his breath get caught. "Man up," he whispered. "Man up." That was the spark that made his tears explode out. Rafe pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes as his breath hitched. 

Even though he had nearly killed JJ by punching him, he had trauma and a lot of it. This past week has put so much pressure and stress on him. With the death of his father, with the gold missing, with him killing people, with the cops. He was an absolute mess. 

"Everything is my fucking fault and I can't do this shit anymore," he cried and turned on the bike. He walked to me as tears flowed down his eyes. Rafe held my face and searched my eyes, "Promise me something, please." My vision was sharper as I studied his face. Azure eyes and cheekbones, long lashes and red lips, sparkling sweat running down his head, his hair plastered to his skin. He was beautiful, but that was on the outside, who was he, inside? 

"Okay," I croaked out. Rafe was traumatised, he was angry, but most of all he was hurt. He deserved so much better. His decisions were based on his family, the people he cared about, and they were extreme because he would do anything for them. And so would I. 

Rafe closed his eyes before he said, "I want you to leave. Go back home, okay? Don't stay here." 

I pulled away, frowning at him. I won't go back. My life was pointless when I lived with my father. The second I stepped foot in the Outer Banks, I found a cause. I found excitement. I found Rafe. Nothing could make me go back...but what if the person I cared about wanted me to go back? Would I do it then? "I can't, Rafe," I snapped. He licked his salty lip and rubbed the back of his neck in annoyance. "I'm not going back! My life has been so much better these past few weeks than in my whole life!" I waved my hands. 

Rafe strode in front of me and nodded his head, "Yeah like how I nearly killed you! Like how I put a gun to your head twice! Fucking twice, y/n!" The tears that were falling down his face were not sad, they were the product of pure rage. "I don't want to see you end up like me," he said and looked away. 

"But Rafe I don't care--!"

"Why don't you fucking listen to me?!" he yelled. "Why doesn't anyone ever fucking listen to me?! Does everything I say not matter just because I've killed people?!" I held my breath. "This is why you keep getting into shit! It's because you're always stuck in the middle! It's because you're always stuck with me!" He waved at me and pulled at his hair. Rafe delivered the death blow, "I should've killed you when I had the chance."

That was the stone that kept me to the ground as I walked toward Rafe and slapped him, hard. "You're right." He held his cheek. "I would rather die than go back." That's when I walked away with my middle finger in the air. 

I knew he was dangerous from the beginning, and I still had no idea how he got me to care about him.

But now, he was even more shitty than the coke he was obsessed with. 

* * * * *

Rafe* 

I knew she wasn't going to leave, so I told her the only thing that would. 

I rode on my bike and hoped she would just go back. I've done so many things I wished she never saw. I've said so many things I wished she never heard, including what I told her just now but I couldn't take it back.