𝔹𝕚𝕘 𝕊𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕂𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕤 𝔹𝕖𝕤𝕥

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕨𝕠 - ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴏʟᴅᴇʀ ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀ..

So it's your mother. For some reason, that hurts more than you'd thought.

Furthermore, she's not angry at you. For reasons unknown, this lady who looks scarily like you other than your eyes, is angry at Kisaki. 

Well, you wish it was for reasons unknown.

It's his eyes. It's his skin. It's how he looks, how he acts, how much he looks like your father.

And your mother, not mentally ill or crazy, but just cruel and not much of a mother at all, loathes that.

Each bruise on your skin is taken instead of Kisaki, and not for a single moment do you regret protecting your most hated character.

But he is a child. And how could you be sick enough to regret protecting a child? He is small, and he cries surprisingly easily, and he's intelligent enough to know why that woman hits you, and that you are protecting him, but still a child who cries for his older sister. A sweet child who cries for his older sister, unknowing as to why you protect him. Because even now, he is confused and crying, but knows the best option for you would be to leave him and let him take the pain, because you could live your life fine if not for him- and he doesn't understand why you don't leave him.

You don't quite understand either. You hated his character. You had considered his character to be a 'monster'. A true one, seeing as to how his obsession led to the destruction of so many good people. 

But here he was. Not a monster.

Just a little kid who cried for his older sister.

And for that, you wouldn't regret anything you did. Because in your past life, you'd sworn to protect your baby brother, and here you were, swearing that again.

"I'll protect you," you whisper to him, curling over him and using your body as a physical shield, even as weak fists of a grown woman pound against your back, even as that woman yells and screams.

And you would protect him.

--

"Tetta, have you ever thought of leaving?" you ask him out of the blue, looking out your window. Your door is locked, and you speak to him with a kind of certainty. 

He is still small, but smart enough that you adore him for it, and he thinks for a bit before answering, "Sometimes. I'd take you with me, though, nee-chan."

"I'd take you with me, too."

But neither of you will be free. Because it's either your mother or your father, and you'd prefer the occasional beating rather than a manipulative bastard who you hated just as much as your mother did. 

One day, you'll be free.

(The second you turn 18, you are going to get custody of Tetta. You hate Kisaki, but you find yourself caring for this small child who's now your little brother so strongly. You want to protect him so much it scares you. It makes you wonder if, wherever his sister is now, this was how his sister felt.)

(It makes you wonder how far she'd go for her little brother. It makes you wonder how far you would go.)

(Two years seem like too long.)

-- 

It's two months later that you find the real reason for your mother's abuse. You are an entire eleven years older than your little brother, but you'd never questioned why. 

You find old photos of your mother, calm and loving, your father, protective but happy- and you as a baby. 

It looks like a perfect family.

Your mother touches the photo and cries. Despite your entire body wanting to flinch away, you do not move as she collapses in your arms.

You find out your brother is only half your brother, and that your mother is not his mother at all.

It makes sense and yet none at all. Your mother, unable to be angry at your father, instead got angry at the child who'd done nothing to hurt her at all.

It made you hate her even more. It made you hate your father even more.

It made you miss your parents even more.

And it made you want to protect Tetta even more.

--

Kisaki Tetta is five years old, looks too small for his age, and at night he cries and asks what he did wrong. Because despite how intelligent you know he is, he could never understand why 'his mother'  hated him, when all the other kids' mothers held them like a treasure, all she ever did was throw him away, uncaring for if he broke.

And you told him the truth, because you cared too much to lie.

You gave him the truth. 

"She hates you because she is wrong. She hates you because she is too blind to see you. She hates you because she is hurt and does not care who else gets hurt because she is in too much pain. She hates you for reasons you never gave her," you tell him every night. 

And when he sobs into your arms, because the truth hurts, and the truth is that there is nothing he can do to make her stop hating him, you'll remind him.

"But you are not meant to be hated. You are not what she tells you or what she thinks. You are kind, you are smart, you are yourself, and it is not your fault," you kiss his forehead, so soft for him in a way you'd always been for your baby brother, too, "It is not your fault, and I love you."

You had loved your baby brother in your past life. You'd loved your older sister, too, but that was your baby brother you wanted to protect. You'd been a good older sister, always, and you would never stop being that good, loving older sister.

And now you had a new baby brother to love and protect, and if you were reborn as an older sister once more, and older sister you would be.

If you'd been reincarnated to an older sister because you had to be a good one, you'd be the best older sister you could be.

Because that's all you'd ever tried to be.

(A good older sister.)