The Chase

32 Evie

I felt so cold. Luca was right beside me, I could feel his naturally running hot body radiating heat but it was like the silver band tight around my throat was blocking everything good from reaching me. The little firefly feeling that danced along my skin wasn't as strong, like it had to fight through a thick wax or cuticle to reach me.

The snake, my pixie magic was trapped, he had tried to fight and stay out, tried to help me by sensing more than I could. Until it had hurt too much and he retreated inside as Sarah had yanked me around like a pet. I wanted the snake back. I wanted to feel normal again.

Clean. I could shower and get clean. Wash another nightmare from my body. Luca and I were alone. I went to walk towards the shower, only managing two small steps. Sweat started to bead on my brow at the effort to move, I was about to scream as burning agony flooded underneath my skin. "Evie!" Luca had cried out at my distress, holding the silver leash in his hand, looking so worried.

I gasped as the liquid pain underneath my skin ebbed away. "I just wanted to shower, I can't move on my own." I couldn't look at him. This was humiliating. I had been rescued, yet I still wasn't free. Hot frustrated tears welling up in my eyes.

Luca picked me up on his strong arms, holding me tight to his warm broad chest." Then let's go shower together." walking me to the bathroom as I sobbed, messy, and wild as Luca held me in his arms, making soft soothing sounds in my ear.

I clung to him like a baby koala. While he juggled holding me and getting the water in the shower running. He gently and carefully set me down on my feet as steam started to cloud the bathroom.

He slipped the robe off my shoulders letting it puddle around my feet. Luca went to his knees, helping me to step out of the panties I still had on. Throwing them in the trash with the other clothes I had thrown out after being rescued from Rocket the first time.

Fresh, body wracking sobs left me choking, trying to gasp for breath. Everything was too hard. I heard Luca rip his own clothes off a moment before I was scooped up, hot fresh water cascading over my skin. Lucas's hands on my skin. Giving me something real, something I could focus on.

I felt Luca brush his thumb over where I knew the tattoo was. The beautiful, strong big cat shadow surrounded by watercolor flowers. New tears flowing. "I didn't know Sarah was a shifter." I managed to stutter and stumble out. "It's her cat, I didn't know." I had loved that tattoo. It made me feel strong when I had gone to the tattoo parlour with my design idea to cover up the horrible branding Rocket had etched into my skin himself. Remembering how encouraging Sarah had been. Now it was another reminder that choices I made myself turned out awful.

I was a broken puppet on a literal string. I moved my hand to cover the tattoo. Moving his off my skin. Not wanting Luca to know the depth of my shame. To see just how broken and unlovable I was. Desperate for him to prove my intrusive thoughts wrong at the same time.

That he could still love me even after everything he had been through because of me. I loved him, the foreign feelings in my heart, the desire to stop his pain ahead of my own. That was love. I could only do one thing to try and make this right. "Your goddess made a mistake, I shouldn't be fated to anyone." my breath hitching in my throat. "All I've done is cause you pain since I met you." I looked up into his eyes, eyes that reflected just as much hurt as I felt.

Set him free

A voice barely a whisper on my head, telling me how to free Luca. Telling me he would be better off, that he could find someone like him. Someone it would be simple to love and be with. Whispering the words I needed to say. "I don't deserve you Luca." trying to steel my resolve. Repeating the words echoing in my mind. "I Emily Violet Hawthorne, reject-"

My words were cut off as Luca covered my lips with his own. His arms pulling my body flush against his in the shower. Possessing my mouth and body. "No." he pulled back from kissing me just long enough to growl the word out. Before holding me chest to chest, my head over his heart. He was trembling. "Don't ever, don't reject me. It's the collar, don't listen to it. Feel me. Just feel me Evie. You are Evie McLean. My mate. There will never be anyone else but you." he growled loudly, sounding as frustrated and broken as I felt. He grabbed the leash in his fist from the ledge it had been set upon. "Stop fucking with her. Let her go!"

At his words the collar obeyed. I could finally feel the fireflies dancing along my skin where mine met his. The snake shadow came out, coiling up my arm and along my shoulder, I felt its tongue lightly touch my neck before I heard a dull click.

The hated collar falling to the floor of the shower. I was free. The snake made himself small, like a baby garter snake, twisting himself around my wrist, biting his own tail and seeming to go to sleep. I looked up at Luca, tears still streaming down my face eyes wide. Matching his own wide eyed gaze as we made eye contact. "What did you do?" I breathed out. Unbelieving. I had heard Brydel try to release the lock, had felt Ash try and break the collar, both had failed. This didn't make sense.

"I have no idea, I told it to leave you alone. I never thought it would listen." shocked, he traced along my collar bone with a light touch of his finger, before touching his now free, unobscured mark on my throat.

None of this made any sense. The snake opened one eye from its coiled location on my wrist, I swear he almost looked like he was smiling. Luca and I stared at each other wordlessly. Finally, realizing the water was starting to run cold, I shook my head. Tucking away what I thought the snake was trying to tell me, unable to cope with anything more right now. "Can we go to bed? I'm tired." the largest understatement of my life.

Luca nodded, sweeping me out of the shower to stand dripping on the plush bath mat. I looked in the mirror at my reflection. Still fully expecting to see the smooth surgical cuts I had felt Sarah carve into my flesh, to see the clamp teeth marks on my breasts and the various bruises from my mistreatment. Nothing was there.

Aside from looking exhausted and like a drowned rat with my hair soaked and plastered to my head and down my back; I looked fine. I wasn't fine. I was very much not fine, I felt so dissociated from my reflection I looked away, ignoring Luca as he tried to dry me off. Trying to help me. I just wanted to go to bed.

I stopped short as I took a single step towards the bed. Unable to take another step. Fearing the pain the collar had already conditioned me to expect and fear. I turned and saw the leash and collar exactly where it had fallen on the shower floor. Confirming I was free. I went to the bed, naked. Crawled in under the soft sheets. Heedless of my soaking hair dripping into the pillow. A moment later Luca was behind me, holding me close.

This has previously been my favorite feeling. Snuggled close to Luca, skin to skin. His scent filling my nose. Now I didn't even feel safe in Luca's arms in bed. Terrified that nowhere would ever feel safe again. Not if Rocket could send Silenced Witches or Rippers after me without warning.