stay with me

Chapter 27

Grey:

I'm nervous as I walk up to my apartment. I'm worried about how much Sam is going to yell at me but I'm also nervous about whether or not I'm going to yell at her for throwing me into that situation in the first place. The more I think about it the angrier I get. She had no right to ambush me like that. I take a deep breath before I walk inside and when I open the door I see Sam sitting on the couch doing homework of all things.

"You're home" she says relieved and for a moment I think I'm getting off easy. Maybe she isn't mad anymore.

"Yea" I say quietly. "I'm sorry about last night" I tell her wanting to get it out of the way and stop beating around the bush.

"You had me really worried Grey" she says and I can hear the tiredness in her voice.

"I know" I sigh. "I'm sorry, I just wasn't thinking clearly".

"Clearly" she says under her breath and I feel my blood begin to boil.

"You know what Sam if you're mad at me then just come out and say it" I tell her.

"I'm not mad" she says and I can tell she's a little taken aback by my forwardness.

"Well I'm mad at you" I tell her honestly.

"What?!" she exclaims shocked.

"You had no right pushing me into that situation" I tell her. "And what's worse is you used Hunter as a tool to get your way. You knew he would be able to get me up there and you used that to your advantage because you want me to be better. You want me to be like the old Grey and I get it. I wish I could just move on and be her again too but guess what she's gone! That Grey died in the accident so I guess you are stuck with this one!" I'm shouting now and I feel badly but I can't stop. I need to say this. "God, do even care what forcing me to go up there did to me? You know what was flashing through my mind while I was up there?" I don't wait for her to respond I keep going. "I was picturing Jason and how he looked the last time I saw him alive and after I ran out all the memories from the accident hit me at once! I couldn't escape them and it was like I couldn't breathe. It was like I was living it all over again!" I finish my rant and when I stop I see that I'm shaking with anger and hurt and I feel tears beginning to form. I can't look at Sam because I feel badly about laying all that on her like that but I couldn't stop myself. I feel her arms come around me a moment later and she holds me for a while.

"I'm so sorry Grey" she whispers into my hair. "You have just been doing so well the past few weeks that I thought maybe you were ready. I shouldn't have ambushed you like that. You're right. I should have asked if you wanted to do it first. I didn't think that any of this would happen and I'm sorry. I love you Grey and I understand that you are a different person now and if you never play or sing again I'm still going to love you. I just know how much you used to love it but if you can't anymore that's fine by me".

She finishes her speech and I feel a tear spill over. She really is such a good friend. No, she isn't perfect but she loves me like family. She would do anything for me. I was lucky to have her.

"So you went to Hunter's huh?" she says to me as we pull away from one another.

"Yea" I say quietly offering her a weak shy smile. "He makes me feel safe" I confide in her. "He has this way of calming me like nobody else and I think it's because he carries some of the same darkness that I carry."

"I'm glad you have him" she tells me. I already knew she was happy we were seeing each other but this time when she says it something is different. "You deserve to have someone who makes you feel safe again."

"Thanks Sam" I tell her.

"So where is brooding prince charming anyway?" she asks and I laugh at her nickname for him.