What did I ever do to you?

why would I care

I watch as the team leaves, splitting into small groups. Maybe I just needed to find my group. Then my puzzle piece would fit in. I turn my ear piece on and head to a window seat, trying to catch glimpses of them fighting.

They've been fighting for twenty minutes now and it seems to be going well. I listen to the radio chatter, trying to follow the action with my ears.

"Package secured. Heading out now." I hear Cap announce.

"We've got your six Cap." Nat chimes in.

I listen to the gunshots and explosions, waiting for some kind of update.

"Halfway there." Steve shouts.

*BOOM*

A large explosion sounds in the distance. My hair stands on the back of my neck, terrified of what might come over the radio next.

"Kate's down!" Clint calls out through his ear piece.

I feel my jaw clench and my back straighten. Silence fills my ear piece. The seconds tick by as I sit, barely breathing. Then I hear a voice I thought I'd never be happy to hear.

"I've got her, keep going." Stark directed.

A gust of air exits my mouth, my back slouches back down, and my eyes close. She's alive.

I stare at the clock watching the seconds tick by. 3 minutes and 57 seconds, have gone by when I hear the ramp drop down.

"Emmelyn get the med supplies ready!" Stark calls, from the light flooding the jet.

I run to the back grabbing everything I can, throwing them onto the table. I keep grabbing supplies, as he sets her down on the bed. I glance over, assessing her. Her face is all cut up and under her eye looks like the beginning of a bruise. My eyes falling to her stomach I see it. A large piece of metal is sticking out of her side, causing deep red blood to run onto the bed. I finish grabbing everything and step back. I start picking at the skin around my fingernails as I watch.

Only focusing on Kate I don't feel Nat's presence, before she takes my hand, "She's gonna be fine, it's not near any vital organs."

"Huh, what? I... I don't care. She hates me why would I care." I ramble, not taking my eyes off Kate.

"You look pretty put off for someone who doesn't care."

"God, why does it matter Nat? You know I hate her."

"I'm sure you really do." She murmured sarcastically.

"Natasha, I do." I half yelled back at her.

"Ok, I believe you." She responds amused, "Come on let's go sit."

She pulls me by the hand over to her previous seat.

"Wasn't Clint sitting here though?" I point to the seat next to her.

"I don't think he'll be coming back over." She assures me, looking in Kate's direction. I turn my head to see Barton sitting next to Kate, holding her hand. His eyes dazed as he studied her.

The flight home was nearly silent. No belly laughs were heard, only a small chuckle here and there. Upon landing a medical team was waiting for us. They whisked Kate away to the med bay, where she would stay for the next day. The rest of us went our separate ways. I hurried to my room, wanting to shut out the world. It was always easiest for me to just pick up my guitar and play. So that's what I did. I played.

~~~Time skip to the next day~~~

I watch from the doorway as Nat joins Clint at Kate's bedside. I'm not sure why Nat wanted me to come so bad. I have no clue what to say to her. 'Sorry you got blown up yesterday'? For that reason I am awkwardly leaning against the doorway, picking at my fingers. I want to keep as much space as possible between us.

When Kate finally notices me, she gives me a puzzled look. When we make eye contact, my eyes dart away. God this is so awkward. Thankfully she goes back to talking with Nat and I let out a breath of air I didn't know I was holding in.

With all three of them indulged in their conversation, I slip away. I don't go far, just the hallway, but I feel much better. I sit against the wall as I wait. I rotate between listening to music and eavesdropping. I know it's not polite, but I was technically invited, so it's sort of a gray area.

A while later Nat finally comes out, "Have you just been sitting here for an hour?"

"Oh," I look down at the time, "I guess I have." I reply.

"I thought you had left. Why'd you stay out here?" She asks.

"Well you invited me, so I felt like I had to stay. I just felt out of place in there." I say getting up from the floor.

"Well thanks for staying in the vicinity at least."

The two of us walked to the common areas and split after. As I walked I thought about fighting. It had now been five days since I fought somebody. Stark's holograms don't count. And with the commotion around Kate no one would notice me getting hurt... perfect.