Outcasts

Chapter 8.

— Alyssa's POV —

We've got four weeks left of school and then we're done. It'll all be over, another chapter in my book slipping away. I have mixed feelings about it being over because I hate school - I don't hide that fact - but I'm gonna miss my friends so much. It's not going to be the same after everything ends and I know that.

After the night we spent together, me and Scarlotte went back to our semi normal routine of going our own ways once at school and ignoring the fact that we're friends - or even know each other - and once the day is over she either comes over to my house or I go to hers.

We've got into the habit of never leaving each others side, we haven't slept alone once in over a week now and I'm not mad about it, it's organic and it's basically a given that at the end of the day at least one of us asks for one another to stay the night.

Neither of us have confronted what is happening between us or what's happened so far. Nothing has gone as far of some shameless touching under the duvet at night as our kissing gets heated, but it's definitely getting hotter as we get more and more desperate to have one another.

I don't know what's going on between us, and I certainly don't know how I feel about Scarlotte. I've always been bad at reading my own feelings I have, so this is all very confusing with the added silence of conversation. And I don't want to be the person to bring up the "what are we" conversation, so I'm just enjoying it as it comes.

And there's always a chance that what we are is simply just friends having fun - nothing between us, but I think that would be a lie - and the last thing I want is to humiliate myself in front of her and ruin what we have right now.

As we get closer to finishing the last year of school, classes are less and less frequent, mostly free periods fill up my schedule right now, and once I do have classes it's usually surrounded around college prep, looking into different colleges we would like to attend.

We no longer are getting homework set out or assignments taking up our weekends. It seems like now we're only going to school on the basis of keeping up our attendance, waiting out for prom and the end of year trip.

And, so while everyone around me sits at their desks on their laptops, I stare into space, contemplating my life.

I think I'm all alone in the fact that I have no idea what I want to do next after school. Everyone's already hearing back from the colleges they've applied to, but me, well, I didn't apply for any. It was a moment of weakness where I panicked and never thought about it again.

I'd like to go to college, but unless I figure out what I want to do, I don't see how I can do that. I don't want to waste years doing classes, unaware of who I'll be when I leave. So, I slowly came to the decision that I would be doing a gap year before deciding what I'd like to study.

I'd like to do some travelling and explore America, I want to see what else is out there - outside of Los Angeles -  and then hopefully on my journey, I'll figure myself out slowly.

Scarlotte is sat beside me now, slowly over the week she has started to sit closer and closer to me. First she sat at the back like she always does, but every other day she would move up some rows and now she's beside me, handing me notes.

I pick up the small piece of paper out of her hand, unwrapping it like a gift and I smile, reading it.

'You know pretty girls aren't supposed to frown, smile please, angel.'

I try to hide the blush in my cheeks, looking down at my phone, seeing that there's ten minutes left until school is over and we can get out of here.

I need to kiss her, I've missed the way she feels against me, the school hours seem to drag lately as my need for her increases. I just want to be with her all the time, but I understand how this works and why we can't.