alright ↠ dylan o'brien

fourteen.

"With shortness of breath

You explained the infinite

How rare and beautiful it is

to even exist"

-Saturn by Sleeping at Last

Lola

"My name is Rhianna McCormick."
I stared across the room at her while she prepared coffee. Her long black hair moved swiftly with every movement she made, and everything she did appeared perfect. Reaching up to grab two mugs, she didn't even have to stand up on her toes. Her legs were just long enough and she was just tall enough. She was just perfect.
Immediately, I began feeling extremely self-conscious. So self-conscious that it made me want to cry. It was all because of Dave. I had never been one to care about looks or what other people thought of me, but next to someone who was the equivalent of perfection, it was almost impossible not to.
Rhianna carried two cups of coffee with her towards the living room. She set the mugs on the coffee table and took a seat on a plush chair colored gray while I sat in the farthest corner from Rhianna on a dark brown, leather couch. It was undeniably one of the most awkward situations I'd ever been in, if not the.
"So..." Rhianna begin. I just nodded. "How did you find out where I live?"
This was one of the questions I was hoping I didn't have to answer. It was kind of stalker-ish when I thought about it. I had gone to Dave's parents' house (for the first time since the accident, which was one strange event), tried to move all the information I could force out of their mouth's, and headed out to the city. Once I got to the apartment building in which Rhianna lived (she rented her own apartment, of course), I realized that it also happened to be Dylan's apartment building because of the names on the mailboxes. Instead of going up to say "hi ", I stuck with my original plan and visited Rhianna.
"I just looked it up, "I lied before I realized how strange that sounded.
"Oh, okay, "said Rhianna, looking confused.
I looked around the room uncomfortably. The walls were a cream color. The whole place just seemed boring and dull, and I couldn't help but let myself wonder how old this girl was.
"I'm guessing you came to talk about Dave?"
"Oh, yeah... How old are you? "
"Twenty. " I nodded. Of course. "You? "
"Seventeen. "
Rhianna looked taken aback but soon just stared around the room angrily. "Jail-bait, huh?"
"I guess you could say that," I replied.
"So you guys –? "
"That's none of your business, "I interrupted rather rudely. Rhianna's right hand ran through her hair. "Sorry, "she mumbled, not very sincerely.
There was the usual silence. The only thing that could be heard was our unsteady breathing and a clock ticking somewhere far-off. After a few moments I approved a quiet, "Yeah, we did. "
Her eyes twitched. She looked as if she was going to cry. As angry as I was, I didn't blame her. In fact, I didn't blame her for anything that was happening. Dave.
"Well I guess it doesn't matter anymore, right? "Rhianna stood up and began to organize everything. "Nothing really matters. "She picked up books, TV remote, and stacks of magazines. Our cups of cold coffee stood untouched on the coffee table. Everything was being cleaned, leaving me sitting on the coach. I didn't talk. I just wanted for her to stop.
As Rhianna grabbed some jackets from another gray chair to the right of me, her foot got caught on the leg of the chair. With all of the items in hand, she lost her balance and stumbled. Magazines and books came tumbling down, causing a frustrated groan to come from Rhianna.
Dropping onto her hands and knees, she began to clean everything up. Reluctantly, I stood up from the coach and made my way over to her. She ignored me when I knelt down next to her. The only thing that could be noticed apart from the silence was how much Rhianna's hands were shaking. Everything about her body seemed to be trembling. Hands, lips, breathing.
The only thing I could seem to do was stare. Or, at least try and help pick up the mess that had been created. No matter what Rhianna did, she couldn't pick up anything. And so I did the only thing I could think of.
I reached for her hand. It was warm and soft, yet shaking. But, as soon as I squeezed, the trembling quickly ceased and caused her hand to go back to normal.
Once Rhianna looked up at me, I could see the tears streaming down her face. Sympathy for her flooded my heart.
I knew exactly how she felt, but I couldn't bring myself to cry. There was just no point. And what amount of my tears were worth wasting on him? Five months ago, I would have answered, Every last drop. But now, the thought of it was sickening. This wouldn't be so hard if I didn't actually love him like I loved him.
"It's not easy," I admitted to Rhianna. She quickly nodded, bit her lip, and winced. Tears kept coming from her eyes without even blinking. She squeezed my hand. "I just--" she choked. "I just thought we had a future, you know? I th-thought he l-loved me."

"Trust me, I know," I said, feeling my eyes begin to brim with tears. I had loved him. I had loved him so much it was painful. Indescribable. He was my safety, my escape, my refuge. When I was with him, he was all I had, and when I wasn't with him, he was all I wanted.

"We can get through this," said Rhianna. "Together."

She was my first real friend. In school when I was younger, it was only Dave and I. We ignored everybody and did everything together. And now, I had a friend who was a girl.

When she asked me if I wouldn't mind coming back, there was no way I could refuse.

Dylan

It was hard to sneak out without being caught by Mom and being lectured in her soft and guilt-tripping voice about not pissing off Stephen. Even though I was the one who was pissed off. Whatever.

Quietly closing the door behind me, I wondered where I was going to go. I set off down the hall and took the stairs two steps at a time. It was late afternoon, I saw, once I got down to the lobby. I could steal Stephen's car and be back by midnight when everyone was asleep.

However, when I was about to leave, I saw Lola again. She was wearing the usual. A sweatshirt and leggings. Today's color was dark green.

"Hey," she spoke first.

"Hey."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't really know. Out."

"Need a sidekick?"

I smiled. "Let's go."