Attitude. (MxM)

Ten.

Attitude.
Chapter ten.

VINCENT.

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I sigh as I lay in bed. My water on the table beside me and my eyes staring up at the dark ceiling. As I rethink that question over.

"Darling, is everything okay?"

I lied.

I can't bring myself to be honest about my feelings, I can't bring myself to talk about my past. Nobody knows about my past, not even my dad knows the full story. The only people who knows the complete truth is my dead mother and me. Until my mum died, then from after that, it's only me who knows the truth. It's stupid. I should be over it, I'm just dramatic. Pathetic and dumb. I shouldn't cry over something so stupid. I'm a boy. Boys don't cry. Or that's what he always said.. whenever I cried during one of his beatings, or whenever he touched me, when my mum died or when I mourned my mums death. He beat me and screamed at me, telling me boys don't cry.

I still remember every detail of everyday there. I'm sure that'll stick with me forever, and I hate that.

I turn and cuddle Marley, soon the exhaustion of today takes over my body and lulls me to sleep.

~~~~~~~

  "Get off him! You fucking monster, he's just a kid!" My mother screams, causing sir's torturous beating to come to a halt.

Sir scoffs and turns to my mother, taking slow menacing steps towards her. I watch the bravery in my mum's face but also the fear.

Sir grabs my mother's chin and digs his nails in her flesh, making my mum cry in pain. My eyes widen and I stand up, only for sir to throw my mother aside, her head hits the wall and pierces her skin.

Sir strides towards me and I stumble backwards, falling back onto my ass. "What were you about to do, boy?" He shouts and I whimper. My bottom lip quivers and I notice anger flare in my master's eyes. "S-Sir, forgive me. I-I'm sorry!" I flinch when he grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls. The tears fall fast and this only makes his agitation rise, he slaps me around the face and I sniffle. "How many times do I have to tell you, hm?" He whispers in my ear.

"Boys. Don't. Cry!" He boomed.

Next thing I know, my hands are covered in my own blood and I'm cuddled in my mother's arms. Waiting for Sir to do anything else to make our lives miserable.

I shoot up from my bed, sweating and crying. I see a figure in the corner and turn on the lamp, I look back and notice it's just a chair.

My hands are shaking and my breathing is heavy. I look at the time, 6am. I go downstairs, dragging Marley and my blanket with me.

I turn on all the lights and sit in the living room. I look down at my hands and see red.

My breathing stops. Suddenly, I'm in that same dirty, rodent infested room again, the air is thick and the room is warm, it smells of sweat, piss, rotting things and mould.

I touch my head and then look at my hands, more blood. I touch my arms and look at my hands again, there's more blood.

I take a deep shaky breath and hear a distant voice. "No! No! No!" I mutter, I hear footsteps rush towards me and I flinch, curling into a ball.

"Sir, I-I'm sorry! F-Forgive me, please!" I cry and move my bloodied right hand in front my face, shaking a lot.

I hear a muffled voice again and take a shaky breath, "S-Sir, I-I'm sorry!" I say again.

"Darling!" I hear a panicked voice say, but not his voice. A familiar voice. I don't move though, I stay hidden. "Love, I'm not going to hurt you. Just please look at me." I hear the deep, sleepy voice say, yet it sounds softer than before.

I notice the room smells of sandalwood. I frown and peek out a little, I'm not in the room. I'm in the bright living room, the comforting space in my new home. I look at my hands, they're clean. There's no sign of blood. I touch my head, there's no blood. That metallic taste isn't in my mouth.

I look around cautiously and catch eyes of Zander. My caregiver. "My darling boy," he whispers and cups my face. He sits next to me and holds me close, I gladly accept.

I can tell he wants answers to a bunch of questions, but he doesn't ask and I respect that. "I-I'm sorry." I breathe out.

"What for, sweetheart?" He asks and kisses my forehead. "F-For waking you." I mumble.

"Vincent.. You don't have to be sorry for that. If anything, I don't care that you woke me, I was supposed to wake up at some point, right? Plus, if I hadn't then I wouldn't be able to be with you at this moment, holding you and cuddling you." Zander mutters. I smile weakly, others may not find those words comforting or soothing but I do. I find myself sinking into his touch and listening to his soft voice as he tells me about things.

Simple things. Stuff about his day yesterday and how it's going to go today. Telling me I'm amazing and I deserve the best, informing me that he and I are taking the day off and are having a caregiver x little day. Telling me how I can plan the whole day if I want.

"I love that idea." I mumble and sniffle. I cuddle Marley and my blanket as I get more comfortable in Zander's arms.

I feel safe, like nothing can ever hurt me as long as I'm with Zander. We've only known each other for about a week and I already feel so attached, I hate that but I also love it.

We end up watching something on tv and eating breakfast to waste time since I was too scared to go back to sleep.

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A/N

I love you all so much and I'm so proud of you. Never give up and keep trying, my lovelies! Stay safe. <3

Take care. :)

Wc: 1053.