Chapter 69

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Chan POV

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Chan POV

I couldn't believe that Lee Know had called me out in front of everyone. The moment that he had asked me to pick truth or dare I knew his goal was to embarrass me, but I thought I'd played it cool. I'd gotten Seungmin in my room and gave justifiable reasons for everything. Besides, he knows it's my job to give Seungmin attention...but then again, so do I. So why was I feeling so embarrassed?

I went downstairs while Seungmin changed to get us a couple of waters. I asked why he needed different pajamas than the ones I'd picked out, and he had told me that he couldn't sleep in clothes that he had eaten in. I refrained from showing him the snack drawer in my nightstand. If he knew that I ate in bed, I had a feeling we'd both be sleeping on the couch.

I heard Han screaming down the hall and rolled my eyes. They were literally like rabbits.

I hurried back up to avoid hearing him moan for Lee Know or worse...finishing.

I knocked on the door and Seungmin answered to let me know I could come in.

"Here you go," I placed a water down on his nightstand next to a stuffed dog he'd brought up from downstairs.

"Thanks," he smiled as he took a sip. I noticed that he'd left the top two buttons open on his pajamas...just like I'd done.

I crawled into the bed and got comfortable as Seungmin stood uncomfortably near his nightstand.

"Come on," I welcomed him, but he continued to hesitate.

"I can sleep on the couch if you want me to. I don't want to make you feel weird," he offered.

This was it. An opportunity had finally presented itself for me to let Seungmin know just how much I wanted him around. I could push him away, make him feel like a burden that I put up with for the sake of my friends, or I could show him how much I enjoyed being in his company.

"What if I want you to stay?" I asked him. My voice sounded deeper than normal each word that left my lips felt like a confession.

"Then I'll stay," he whispered.

"Then stay," I begged and Seungmin got into the bed, keeping as much distance between us as possible. I didn't know why, but seeing him huddled at the edge of the bed as it threatened to have him falling to the ground pissed me off.

"Do you not like me or something?" I snapped.

"W-what?" he stammered in confusion.

"Well you didn't want to share a bed with me and now you're all the way over there," I complained. I didn't recognize my voice. I sounded desperate. It was disgusting.

"I just wanted to give you your space. I know you guys haven't forgiven me yet," he began. "And I don't blame you." He rushed through the last part to make sure that I knew he wasn't putting the responsibility or reason for the awkwardness on us.

I realized as he spoke, though, that I had forgiven him. I'd watched him struggle to make his decision up to everyone. I trusted him blindly when he offered me a spoonful of what looked like unicorn poo. He'd confided in me about how toxic his relationship with Jeongin had been and how dependent he was on him. I didn't think Seungmin would make that choice again.

"I have forgiven you," I said lowly.

"You what?" He sounded surprised.

"I've forgiven you," I repeated with certainty.

Seungmin turned away from me and covered his face. I could tell he was crying, and I crossed the distance in the bed to hold him. I wrapped my arms around him and put my legs over him as well so that he knew he was safe. I didn't say anything.

He eventually turned to face the roof and exhaled a shaky breath.

"Thank you," he told me, still staring at the ceiling.

I laid my head on the pillow and watched him as he breathed, "Of course."

A few moments passed before I snuggled back up to him. I put my head on his chest and listened to his heart as it sped up.

"Can I ask you something unrelated," he muttered. The words echoed in his chest.

"Of course you can."

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just that happy to be here with me?"

I boomed with laughter that filled the room.

"It's my gun. Sorry," I snorted and placed it on my nightstand.

Seungmin laughed shyly and turned away from me again as he got comfortable enough to sleep.

I considered staying on my side but I wanted to be near him. Why did I want to be near him?

"Seungmin," I croaked. My voice cracked and I coughed awkwardly trying to hide it.

He turned around and looked at me. His eyes met mine and my breathing faltered. Why?

"Do you want to sleep closer?"

Seungmin didn't verbally answer, but he did roll over into me. He brought his back to my chest, and I hugged him from behind. I felt his bum back up against my dick, and when he backed up into me, I moaned unexpectedly.

"Sorry," I blurted out.

"It's okay," he whispered, but then he arched into me again and another involuntary moan escaped. I thought he might be doing it on accident until he did it a third time.

"What are you doing," I breathed out. Why did I feel dizzy? Why was I getting hard?

I'd never felt like this before for a guy. Even the last time with Seungmin had just been a drunken kiss. But this felt different. My body was reacting to him in ways it never had for a man before.

I wasn't sure if I was ready to face the reality of what that meant. The pendulum was swinging slower and slower.

"You like it don't you," Seungmin exposed me. He'd figured out what I'd been hiding even from myself.

"Yes," I exhaled as I pushed my hand down on his tummy to hold him closer.

Seungmin tried to drag my hand down to feel him, but I wasn't ready for that. I kept my hand firmly on his stomach.

He understood my hesitancy and put his hand over mine, intertwining our fingers as he ground into me. I moaned desperately in his ear and felt strange. I wasn't gay. I'd never felt like this for a guy. And yet Seungmin had me unraveling before him while still fully clothed.

What was happening to me?

I moaned again into his neck. Seungmin stopped moving, and I felt disappointed until he turned to face me. His lips were right in front of me. He placed a hand delicately on my cheek. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down.

"Can I kiss you," he asked. I opened my eyes and stared back at his beautiful face. He looked so vulnerable, and I realized that he was.

He was asking a straight guy for a kiss...a straight guy that he had betrayed and won back over.

And so, I said the only thing that made sense.

"Of course you can."

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