my first one

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My first male best friend, first attraction, first love.

What a ride it was to be your friend.
The jokes, the ragging, pulling each other's leg, and the barter system.
Sharing the shit we went through,
arguing like siblings, yet caring for each other.
Always teasing one another, but knowing the limits.
Quite fun it was.

Attraction phase began.
It was a funny feeling,
I didn't know what it was.
What if I said that I never acknowledged my feelings in front of anyone.
Only because I thought it would make me seem weak.
But now I know that,
loving someone is the bravest thing one can do.
I liked you, you liked me too,
But we never said it to each other.
We knew we were perfect for one another.
But we were scared of losing a friend.

You left without prior notice.
My heart broke into pieces.
I didn't have your number, no insta, zero contact.
I still wish you were here,
I need your comfort more than anything at this point.
I have so much to tell you,
But you aren't here.

***

This was when I was a dumb, reckless, and stupid kid. So yeah, I didn't even think about taking down his number, or any form of contact details.

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