The Kissing Game

Chapter 14

I was sitting in English class, forcing myself to keep my eyes averted from Axel. It was a surprisingly hard thing to do, but somehow I managed, even though Hannah wasn't there to distract me. Although, annoyingly I couldn't stop thinking of Axel.

   Luke's words were in my head and to my surprise, I found myself hoping - wishing they were true. For some insane reason I wanted Axel to be a good guy and that left me both frustrated and exhausted. Axel was becoming a big part of my life, just like Hannah had thought.

   "Hi, Zoey," a familiar voice said.

   I looked up and saw Xavier standing in front of my desk. He was smiling, but I noticed his hands were shaking. He was nervous and I knew it was because of me.

   "Hey," I said, giving him a small smile as I hoped he would distract me from Axel temporarily.

   "You know, I was sitting across the classroom," he said, looking down shyly. "And I thought you looked beautiful."

   "Oh." I couldn't help but blush. "Thank you."

   This was different. I was so used to guys telling me I wanted them, that hearing a guy compliment me was a surprise.

   "And you're smart." Xavier looked back up at me. "Probably talented too."

   I smiled shyly, flattered. Xavier sounded honest and his words were sweet. Thinking back to what Luke said, I knew I shouldn't generalize guys.

   "I was wondering," he continued, his eyes filling with hope. "If you'd like to get to know each other. Like, I know you don't date, so we can just hang out and talk. And learn more about each other."

Xavier was so adorable, I had to admit. But this request left me feeling uneasy and I didn't get it. It didn't make sense because I couldn't keep going like this. I had to give someone a chance. Xavier was sweet and shy, and would definitely be the right choice, but still it just didn't feel right. I didn't understand myself and looked down, ashamed.

   "Sorry," I said, feeling sad yet relieved. "It's a no."

   "Oh," Xavier said. "Alright."

   I heard him walk away and looked up, feeling guilty. It didn't make sense. I had thought that the fact that all of the guys were jerks was the reason why I never been into them, but it seemed like that wasn't just the case. Frowning, I began to wonder what was wrong with me.

   Class soon began and the lights went off as the projector went on. Mr. Arthur was teaching and as usual, I was zoning out. And before I knew it and could stop myself, my eyes wandered to Axel.

   He was sitting in his seat, slumped, and he looked tired. Exhausted as I noticed his eyelids seemed to droop. Seeing him like that made something in me twist, so I shook my head, reminding myself to forget about Axel. He wasn't worth my time. But yet, I couldn't help but hope he'd look over at me.

   To my surprise, he suddenly did and when his eyes met mine, they looked sad. Almost longing, too. I looked away then, telling myself I was imagining things. Axel didn't care about me. He only cared about the kiss. I needed to stop hoping for more.

*****

With a sigh, I shut my locker and began to walk to the cafeteria. Hannah had skipped English to finish an assignment, so I prayed she'd be there. I didn't want to be alone for once, knowing my mind would be on Axel who I needed to stop thinking about.