The Kissing Game

Chapter 25

    I was angry at myself for falling for someone, but I wasn't mad about who it was. Because the truth was, Axel was - sort of - an incredible guy. The real him was someone I grew to really care about and I was almost proud to say that he had won my heart. But there was one problem, and that was if he was using me for the kiss.

   I hadn't really been thinking about the kiss now that my peers left me alone, but when I realized I liked Axel, I remembered the kiss. Technically, he won. He had won my heart and thus, won the kiss. That was how things should have went, but I wasn't going to pass the kiss anytime soon.

    Knowing Axel had only started talking to me for the sake of the kiss, I was worried. I couldn't help but wonder if Axel was only acting the way he was to win the kiss. Was he only using me to receive it and then forget about me? Those were the questions running through my mind.

    I really hoped Axel did care about me, but I had to be realistic. He was a guy and like my mom said, they wanted something from you most of the time. In this case, it was the kiss, which meant I had to be wary. I wouldn't dare let him know how I felt yet.

    The doorbell rang and I shot up, knowing Axel was here. We were studying for an upcoming test and I ran downstairs, excited. But upon reaching the door, I paused, realizing I need to calm down. I couldn't let these feeling further if I wanted to keep them a secret.

    Taking a deep breath, I then opened the door with a neutral expression. Axel grinned upon seeing me and my heart stuttered. He was gorgeous and I hated how it had to be him of all people.

    "Hey," he said, stepping inside.

    "Hey," I said, turning around. "Let's go to my room."

    As we walked upstairs, Axel asked, "Are you home alone?"

    "Yeah," I answered.

    I had purposely chosen that day for that exact reason. Mom wasn't happy with Axel, especially after last time, so I tried to keep them apart. Axel was my little secret and I didn't want anyone to taint it.

     We were soon in my room and we sat in our usual positions. Our shoulders were brushing and I could hear Axel's gentle breathing. I blushed and knew I was too aware of him, but I had come to learn that that was what happened when you like someone. They consumed you and I questioned why people enjoyed love as I felt embarrassed.

    "Why are you blushing?" Axel asked, surprising me.

    "What?" My cheeks turned redder. "I'm not."

    I looked away, humiliated by the fact that he had caught me. Hoping my cheeks would clear up, I grabbed my textbook and looked for the chapter we were on.

    "It's cute, Zoey," Axel said softly. "I love it when you're flustered."

    I froze at his words and looked at him, stunned. He was smiling and my heart began to pound against my chest. This feeling was growing annoying.

    "Shut up," I said defensively. "I... Let's just study."

    "Okay," he said, amused.

    With my cheeks burning, I began to teach Axel. But he wasn't very attentive for once. For once, he seemed distracted and surprisingly, by me. It was like he couldn't stop looking or even touching me, which left me wondering what was up with him.

    "Your hair is so... Blonde," Axel commented, playing with a strand of it.

    "Duh," I said. "Focus Axel."

    "I can't." His voice was low. "Not when you're around."  

     I whipped my head to look at him and froze when I saw that he was staring at me. My heart froze as I noticed his ears were red and my jaw dropped. Axel smiled and I felt like I would swoon, which a week ago, would have disgusted me.

    "I-I- Axel," I stammered, unsure of what I wanted to say.

     "Yes?" He whispered.

     My brown eyes stayed on his and I realized I was drowning in this new feeling. It was consuming me horribly as I, who was always so confident and sure, was unable to think or act properly around this boy. Knowing this wasn't good, I looked away quickly.

    "We have a test tomorrow," I said flatly, grabbing my pencil. "Focus."

    Axel didn't say anything and without glancing at him, I began to teach. He remained quiet as I taught and I began to wonder if he was offended. I really wanted to look at him but resisted, knowing I couldn't let him know how I felt. Not yet, at least.

    Soon Axel had to leave and I walked him to the door. He remained quiet and my eyes remained everywhere but on him. It was quite awkward, but I reminded myself that school would be over in about two months. When those two months were over I would - might - confess my feelings and hopefully - I really hoped - Axel would requite them.

    Axel left and I let out the breath I had been holding in. My heart was pounding and I began to think about how this was what it was like to like someone. It was exhilarating and terrifying, and I wondered how I'd be able to hide these feeling that kept pouring out of my heart.

    Suddenly, the front door flew open and I saw Mom enter the house. My eyes widened with surprise and seeing the annoyed look she wore, I knew she had seen Axel leave. I gulped.

"You... You forgave him?" Mom asked immediately, walking over to me. "Why is he still in this house?"

"Mom, he's a good guy," I said calmly, wishing she'd understand. "He's not perfect, but... I like him."

Her eyes went wide with horror. "You like him?"

"As a friend." I blushed. "He's... Sweet."

"All boys are like that sweetheart," Mom grumbled. "Zoey, you're a smart girl. I would expect you to understand that guys are fantastic actors."

I stared at Mom, unable to understand why she kept forcing this idea on me. Why was Mom so afraid of guys? What have they every done to her? 

"Mom, what are you scared of?" I asked quietly.

"I don't want you getting hurt." She looked away, but sounded honest. "I want you to stay the precious, intelligent girl I know."

"I will Mom. You don't have to worry."

Mom turned around and walked off, leaving me frowning. She looked upset and I hated seeing her like that, but what she wanted was impossible. With these feelings, I couldn't forget Axel. I couldn't just get rid of him when he was all I could think about. For once, I couldn't make my parents happy. I didn't know what to think of that.