Being the son of a businessman isn't easy, and Ji Nan knows that to well. So when he was forced to move he made sure to not let anyone know about his fathers income. He even made sure not to let anyone get to know him, but when he is tasked with tut...
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When class started I was not in the mood to pay attention. I didn't even want to be in school anymore. The teacher started the lesson, and my mind went else where. I stared out the window trying to find anything to focus on instead of school. As I stared at the blue sky my thought went towards my father.
I felt nothing as he crossed my mind. If I could describe what I felt in that very moment, it would numbness. I had so many questions I wanted to him, but I knew if I asked he'd just beat around the bush. I understand why he doesn't want to tell me about him being arrested, but why is it so hard for him to tell me why he disappeared for so long? It pissed me off just thinking about it. Why was he being so secretive about something he never was secretive about in the past? It really is annoying.
I pushed my father from my mind, just sighed. It was no use to think about it when I wouldn't get any answers for the questions I have. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, making sure to hide it in my notebook. I went to my contact list and started scrolling. As I neared my mothers number, a sharp pain hit my heart.
As I stared at the number the only thing I could think about was wanting to see her and hear your voice. It had been years since I last saw her, and the last expression I saw on her face was pain. I get why she hates me, but the fact that she won't even see me hurts the most.
My eyes began to sting, and before I could stop it a tear fell onto my notebook. Many followed that one, and I quickly clocked off my phone and wiped my eyes. Stop crying.....I don't cry. I let out a few shaky breathes and slowly glance around the room. No one was paying attention to me, and I was grateful for that.
I calmed my breathing down, and closed my notebook. I laid my head down on my desk and closed my eyes. I wanted the feeling in my chest to go away, but it wouldn't. Why do I have to feel.....I don't want to feel.
———
When lunch came I hadn't taken any notes, and as I looked the homework I was grateful that I didn't need to. I closed my workbook and got up and left the classroom. As I walked through the halls , I couldn't help but feel like there were a lot of people staring at me. I just ignored it and headed towards the roof.
The more I walked, the more eyes seemed to follow me. I had just turned onto the hallways towards the roof when I heard someone call out to me.
"Hey!" I stopped and turned around to see Cai Long approaching me. I raised an eyebrow clearing confused as to why he was calling out to me and even more approaching me. What the hell does he want?
"Um, hi?"
"Why did you make her cry," he asked harshly?
"Who?"
"Don't fuck with me."
I sighed, "did that girl cry? How annoying."
"Annoying! You just can't use her and then throw her away!" When I heard that sentence, I felt the anger began to rise. I took a deep breath and spoke calmly.
"Use her? I barley talk to her."
"Don't lie. She told me every..."
"Look," I said cutting him off, "I don't know what she's been telling you, but I have not and never will be interested in her. ." He was about to say something else, but I had no interest in staying and listening. I turned without saying and started to walk away.
"Hey," he yelled! I ignored him and turned the corner. At this point, this day couldn't get more annoying. I don't have time for people and their feelings, let alone their drama. I was annoyed now, and I didn't feel like dealing with any of these people. Why do people have to be so annoying?
When I made it to the roof it was empty, and I was fine with that. The air was cool as any fall day could be. I walked over to the railing and sat down. I leaned my head back and looked up at the somewhat cloudy sky. It was blue and bright, but in some places there were dark grey louds covering it. I watched the cloud slowly move over the blue parts and somewhat understood. I understood the battle of wanting to be bright but being overcome by dark clouds. How strange is that? How strange is it to be able to relate to the sky itself?
I stared at the sky for a long while before slowly memories started to replay within my mind. I couldn't help recalling the sweet memories of when my family was whole. I couldn't help but think of my childhood. The picnics, the park visits, the family dinners. Although the memories made me happy, the happiest thing I remember was my fathers laugh. I never hear that laugh anymore, I never see him actually smile happily. Just as I put on a mask in front of people, so does he. I know he does it to try to make me feel better and I appreciate his effort, but I know he's not happy. It's why he throws himself into his work so much.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and went to my call log. I clicked on my fathers number and waited for him to answer, but he never did. I sighed and stared down at his phone number. What did I expect from you old man? I stuffed my phone back in my pocket, and closed my eyes. The silence around me was peaceful compared to the noise that the people around were beginning to cause. Everyone was becoming troublesome, and I don't want to deal with them at all. As I sat there on the roof in that cool breeze, I began to fall asleep.
