The Tear of Celeste

Chapter 21: The Past

You wake up the next day from a nightmare. You don't fully remember what it was about, just that it was bad. You are still shivering from it as you get up, so you decide to take another shower, even though you took one yesterday, just to wash away the bad dream and start the day fresh.

You don't stand under the running water for long, just long enough for the warmth to make you stop shivering. You dry yourself off, not bothering with your hair too much as you put on sweatpants and a hoodie, quickly making your way out of your room.

You get downstairs and see Loki on the couch reading alone. You yawn and stretch before looking at him. "Morning Loki, where is everyone?" You ask as you move to the small kitchen to get some cereal. Usually, at this time, there would at least be a few people eating breakfast.

"I'm afraid they all suddenly had to leave, so you are stuck with me today," he mumbles as he turns a page of his book.

You frown at his tone, he has a sarcastic tone in his voice, but something about the way he says it makes it sound like being alone with him was a bad thing. You grab the things you need for breakfast and move over to sit beside him.

"Why do you say it like that?" You ask as you take your first bite.

"Say it like what?" He asks confused, looking at you with a slight tilt of his head.

You roll your eyes at him and swallow. "Like being stuck alone with you is a bad thing," you say, looking at him and raising an eyebrow. You spend a lot of time alone already, sure there was always another person in the tower, but you don't see what the difference is now.

He frowns at you and looks back to his book, not seeming like he wants to answer. It was probably a sore subject so you just casually say. "You don't have to tell me, but just know I don't think of it like that."

"That's because you don't know me," he said as he flipped to another page. He seemed to be in a bad mood today. You suspect the revelation yesterday brought up bad memories.

You turn on the couch to face him better and give him an encouraging smile. "Try me!"

He looked at you from the corner of his eyes and frowned slightly. "..." He looks hesitant, like he does not want to tell you, but also doesn't want to hide it from you. "... Do you know about the incident in New York in 2012?"

You shake your head at him, taking another bite of cereal. "I just know New York was attacked, But I don't know the details." It had not seemed that important to ask.

Loki looked back at his book, but you could tell he was watching you in his peripheral vision. "I was the one behind the attack."

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Loki looked at you out of the corner of his eye, seeing your frozen expression as the silence between you grew. He knew what him telling you this would mean. He had been amazed the others had not told you already, but also thankful. He didn't want to be seen as a villain or a monster, even though that was what he was.

He started to close his eyes, preparing for the disgust, the accusation, the questioning of the other avenger's judgment to let him be a part of the team when you simply asked. "Why?"

He looks up at you a bit shocked, but you are still just looking at him patiently.

His face turns into a frown with his confusion. "What do you mean why? Because I was the villain!" He had attacked New York and the heroes had stopped him.

You roll your eyes at him. "I mean why did you attack New York?" You asked and looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.

He was looking at you like you were insane, maybe you were! A grin started spreading across his face from the pure shock of what you were saying, he tried to stop it. "Because I wanted to take over Midgard and rule it!" Surely that was enough to make you understand that-

"... Why?" You ask, tilting your head.

You must be doing this to annoy him, why else were you asking such meaningless questions?! "Why would I want to rule? Is that a joke? Everyone wants power and to rule and-"

"I don't," you told him honestly and shrugged. "But I guess being raised a prince in a land full of warriors does mean conquest is on your mind."

He looked at you shocked by that. "... How are you talking so calmly about this? I attacked this place! I tried to enslave everyone, I killed-" He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. "... Why don't you see me as the monster that I am?"

"Because you are not a monster," you simply say, you may not have known him for long, but your voice rang with truth.

He glares back at you. "I was the villain," he said in an icy voice, why would you not understand that?!

You look at your cereal. "One side's villain is the other side's hero."

"I was on the wrong side," he said, ice still in his voice as he looked away. Attacking New York had been wrong! He knew that, now that he could look back at his actions with clear eyes. Had it not been for Thanos and the others he would have never done it!

You look back at him, still only with kindness in your eyes. "How do you know that?"

"BECAUSE THEY MANIPULATED ME!" He said, jumping up "They messed with my mind! Messed with my memories! Used me to act out their plans making me think they were my own, they made me-"

"Into the villain?" You ask, looking straight at him.

He stops in shock, staring at you with tears in his eyes. He knew that at the time of the New York attack, he had been under the influence of dark magic, not directly mind controlled, but still compelled by them to do what they wanted him to do.

It was one of the reasons the others had let him join the team when it was proven that it was a dark influence that guided Loki's hand. But still, it was an influence, not a control. He still controlled his hand, they had just enhanced all the bad stuff inside him, not created it.

"I'm a villain," he simply says, looking at you seriously. "I might be on the good side now, but I am still a villain by heart."

You had finished your breakfast and got up. "... Loki, do you know what one of my favorite quotes is?"

Loki rolled his eyes, sitting back down with the book again. "Let me guess, something about forgiveness and kindness." Thor had spewed a lot of quotes like that, both to Loki and the others, and he was honestly sick of them.

You walked over and put your bowl in the sink. "A hero will sacrifice the person they love to save the world," you said simply, making your way over to the stairs.

He looks at you a bit confused, thinking of the sentence and deeming it to be true. A hero would always try to do what was the greater good. That was why he was not a hero, he was a-

"But a villain will sacrifice the world to save the person they love." You finish as you reach the stairs, looking over with a smile. "Think about that next time someone calls you a villain," you said as you skipped up the stairs.

He looks up after you in amazement. He has never heard that saying before, and as your words flew around his mind he realized you were right. For someone he loved, he would tear the world apart to keep them safe.... And was that a bad thing?

No, he decided, it was not, and that was what you were telling him. Even if he was a villain, if he was on the good side did that really matter?

Suddenly he found himself in a much better mood, his eyes lingering on the stairs you had just ascended.