The Tear of Celeste

Chapter 61: Apologies

You were feeling rather disoriented when you woke up, your whole body feeling slightly on fire, aching as if you had run a marathon without stretching first, something told you that it had hurt a lot more, but that it was being soothed, and that this pain too was gonna go away.

You try to catch some more sleep, but a chill runs down your spine, this time because you are afraid.

All the memories hit you like a grenade, making you sit up wide-eyed in shock.

The kidnapping, meeting the Avengers, gaining powers, gaining friends, losing it all, and pain, so much pain.

Your whole body is shivering, energy sparkling around you as you gasp for air, feeling like the energy in your body is about to explode and-

You hear your name and feel the cold arms around you, wrapping around you like a security blanket of snow and soothing your mind and your body.

You look over your shoulder to look him in the eyes, your own filling with tears.

"Loki?" You ask, almost not believing it, your hand shaking as you stroke his cheek.

Loki lifts his own hand to take yours, his palm stroking the back of your hand as he laces his fingers with yours, tilting his head to give you a cooling kiss on your wrist. "Yes darling, It's me, I'm right here."

You lean into him and he lets you cry, stroking your arms, your back, your face, just letting you know he is there. He holds you close with his other arm and kisses your hair. "I got you," he says softly, "I'm here."

You cry, holding onto him. He came for you. He had rescued you. "I was so scared," you tell him, not letting go.

"I know," he said seriously, "but you are safe now, you are not going anywhere unless that is what you want." He looked you in the eyes with a fierce look, "And I will be with you wherever you go, I promise."

You nod and lean into him, taking deep breaths and trying to calm yourself down.

The two of you sit like that for a while, Loki soothing you and you relax your body and take the time to gather your thoughts.

"... Loki I..." You make a face and look up at him. "... They.... They said I'm The Stella," you said, somehow deep inside knowing it to be true, "that I'm The Tear of Celeste!"

Loki nodded slowly, looking down at you. "I know... We gathered a lot of information about the project from the base they were holding you," he said seriously, looking at you worried. "You are Stella." He strokes your cheek in a way that makes you blush.

You try to look at your own hands... They look like your hands always had, but memories of them being more like crystal flash before your eyes and your breathing started speeding up. You could feel yourself panicking.

"I know," he said softly, holding you closer, "It's alright my darling. I'm right here, and I'm not leaving" He kissed your forehead. When you still felt yourself panicking slightly he looked at you with a soft expression. "I know how that feels." He freed one hand and held it out for you to watch. "Look over here."

You looked at his hand and your eyes widened as suddenly you were watching fireworks emanating from his hand. It was quiet enough to not make you jump, but still, extremely beautiful. You are thankful as he gives you something to focus on to stop your thoughts from spiraling out of control. You concentrate on your breathing, letting yourself calm down.

You look up at him again, tears in your eyes. You know he is telling you the truth, that he too had a moment in his life when he learned his origin had not been what he thought his whole life. That he was a frost giant rather than Asgardian.

"I believe the words you said were: 'Your life might not have had the happiest start, but that does not mean you can't find happiness now,'" he quoted you as he took one of your hands and softly kissed your knuckles.

That makes you laugh, drying your tears with the hand he is not holding. "And I believe your words were: 'That sounds rather stupid,'" you quote back at him, the both of you laughing softly at that.

But that also makes you realize something else. "Wait," you said, looking at him with big eyes, "that means I do belong in this world right? That this is where I came from!" You look at him with big eyes, looking out into the room as the realization hits you. "That's why nowhere ever felt like home before I got here!"

Loki hugged you close. "Yes, you were born in this world, but that does not mean you have to stay if you do not wish to," he tells you, his own voice unsure. "If you rather go somewhere else..." He lowers his head.

You shake your head. "No! I am staying here! ... In this world at least," you say as you look around. "... Where are we?"

"Back at the compound," Loki told you, "in your room. But I will happily help you pack your bag of things if you wish to leave," he said, stroking your side, "and I will accompany you anywhere you want... If you want me to that is." He blushes slightly, looking away.

You blush, looking around the room. "Hold that thought," you said as you try to get up. He lets you, still not fully letting go of one of your hands. "Hmm?"

You sigh and look toward the door. "I have to talk to the others," you say seriously.

You are still very angry and hurt about everything that happened. You need to deal with those feelings before you decide on anything.

Loki nods and gets up. "Alright then, I'll wait outside while you get dressed."

That brings you up short. You look down at yourself, noticing you are wearing pajamas. ".... How-"

"Lady Natasha and Wanda helped get you into sleepwear before bed," he said seriously, and you relaxed a bit in relief.

"I'll be right outside," he tells you and leaves you alone to change.

༺☆༻

You and Loki make your way down to the group waiting for you.

Wanda gets up and hugs you right away along with Pietro. "We didn't know they would try to send you away, or we would have stopped them," they told you seriously, making you nod and hug them back tight. "I figured the 'everyone agreed to the plan' was a lie," you said seriously, looking up at Tony.

Thor went over and hugged you next, he didn't say anything and just stepped back and stood by his brother's side.

Bucky and Vision went to your side too, patting your shoulder.

You smiled at all of them before looking back at the rest of the group with hard eyes.

Tony was in the middle of the other group and took a deep breath. "... I'm sorry," he said seriously, looking at you, "we should not have jumped to the conclusion of sending you home." He was addressing the rest of the group too. "It was wrong of us."

Nat looked at you with soft eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, only addressing you, "we should not have hurt you to make you leave." She bowed her head. "It was wrong of us."

Bruce went to her side, taking her hand and looking at you. "I'm sorry, we should have told you what was going on," he said, addressing the rest of the group too, "instead of leaving you in the dark. It was wrong of us."

Steve stepped forward too. "I'm sorry," he said seriously, giving you a bow, "we should not have made a decision on your behalf. It was wrong of us."

Peter, Sam, and Clint bowed, apologizing to you and the group.

You looked at them all apologizing to you, and you could tell that they were speaking the truth.

"... I know you didn't do it maliciously," you said seriously, looking at the group, "you were trying your best to keep me safe, and for that, I thank you," you said seriously, closing your eyes. "But I don't forgive you."