KIBA ; STRAY KIDS

71 ; KIBA

I stood up hesitantly. It was most likely the caretakers asking if I need anything before the cold night arrives. I closed the bathroom door, and the knocks sounded again more quickly and harshly. I huffed angrily before I yanked open the door, expecting a caretaker.

Instead, it was a blond man at 5'8. Hongjoong.

"Hongjoong?" I questioned, still speaking English by accident, "Why are you here?"

"I came to check on you obviously." He replied back in broken English, but it sparked a little bit of happiness in me. He pushed past me and into the bathroom. He turned off the taps like he knew what I was planning.

"Yeah..." I was confused, "How did you know I was here?"

"Because I followed your car." He replied and we were speaking softly in Korean now. Followed my car? I got here almost half an hour ago, did he hear what I was saying?

"Hyung." I said, all the confusion being replaced with a soft fear. I hate confrontation and speaking about my feelings was even worse. 

"Sit down Kiba-sii." He said softly, and I closed my eyes knowing that he was going to try and convince me to stay and all the stupid shit like that. Still, for some stupid reason, I listened and sat by him on the bed.

"Hyung." I shallowed a lump in my throat, "Did you hear me?"

"Some of it." he whispered, and I couldn't look at him anymore, but his eyes were piercing my temples where the bruises were, "What happened?"

I was tempted to laugh, but I wasn't numb right now, I felt like I might cry again.

"I don't really know. I hit myself I guess." I said and I turned to him but didn't make eye contact, "I'm... destructive you know?"

I kind of wanted it to scare him off but he shuffled forward and placed his gentle and small hand on top of mine. I looked at his painted fingers, and the rings adorning them. How much would it hurt to be punched by pure silver rings?

"I'm sorry about your parents." He started and I just sat and listened, "What they did was very shitty."

"Yeah..."

"But what they've done doesn't mean they deserve to win." He said determined and I was sorry I couldn't feel the same way, "Your parents have obviously been putting you down for ages Kiba, and you've held out this long."

"Held out this long, and all its done is beat me up again and again. I don't want to keep fighting hyung..." I whispered out, and I just closed my eyes, I could feel myself swaying side to side softly.

"You are so strong Kiba-ya." Hongjoong said, a desperation in his voice, "Please don't let your parents do this to you."

"I'm tired hyung."

He paused for a second, "I know."

I could hear the wobble in his voice. He was trying not to cry, or at least trying not to show he was crying. Something snapped in me when I heard him, and my chin wobbled too as the tears built up behind my closed eyes. I couldn't help the sob that escaped my body. I immediately felt his hands gather me and pull me to him. I didn't stop him, instead I shuffled to him and placed my head in his chest to cry. His hands held me tight, and he cried too.

I had only known Hongjoong for a few months, and I didn't even finish kingdom. Yet, he was here because he wanted to check up on me, because he cared. I was never going to let him go.

"Kiba-ah." He whispered after a while, "Please keep fighting."

"But there's no point. Everyone hates me." I sobbed out into his chest which was just a wet puddle now.

"No one hates you Kiba. I don't. Your members don't. Stays don't." Hongjoong said and he pulled out his phone from his back pocket, "Haven't you seen everyone fighting for you?"

"Huh?" Why would anyone fight for me?

"Look, this is what people are saying." He handed his phone to me, and I sat up just a little, so my head rested on his shoulder, but I was still in-between his legs. Even though I was nearing 6'0ft, I felt like a small kid in my hyungs arms.

'Kiba hasn't done this! This is so stupid!'

'EVERYONE KNOWS HIS PARENTS ARE HOMOPHOBIC!'

'GOD IS THIS REALLY THE KIBA WE KNOW! THE ONE WHO ALWAYS STANDS UP ABOUT THE THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH THE WORLD?'

'YOU HAVE ME FUCKED UP IF YOU THINK IM ACTUALLY GOING TO BELIEVE THAT!'

'Kiba is literally the only idol I fully respect. He has a western attitude which lets him speak up about the wrongdoings of a lot of people and things - why would he do this to himself? He's not stupid!!!'

'Kiba please keep fighting and make this right for yourself!! Stay will protect you!!!!'

I sniffed to help myself breath and put down HongJoong's phone, but I see all the nice messages from everyone, and I did feel better. I was still tired though. I'm tired of the world hating on me.

"Don't you see Kiba. You're an inspiration to so many people, and a friend to many more." HongJoong convinced, "It will be a tragedy to lose someone like you."

"You think so?" I questioned and HongJoong held me tight again, his fingers digging into my arms, but it was comforting to me.

"Delete the video from your phone." He said, and I stayed still, I didn't want to, "You don't need it anymore Kiba."

"I want to." I said, "I want to keep it. So, I can look back to it."

I heard no response, so I assumed he had given up. He fell back after a while, and we were lying down on the bed together. I closed my eyes, cuddled into his chest again.

"So, when you going back?" He asked softly, his hands now playing with my hair.

"In a week." I whispered, on the verge of falling asleep, "I paid for a week."

"Okay. I'll stay tonight. Wooyoung said he was worried about you; he was right to be. I'm glad I caught you tonight."

"You saved my life Hyung." I whispered, and I heard nothing but felt his sobs through his chest, "Don't cry hyung."

"Don't do something like this ever again Kiba." Hongjoong said, "I shouldn't have to save your life."

"I'm sorry." I whispered, on the brink of a deep sleep, "I love you hyung."