I Don't Want to Hurt You! (Antisepticeye/Jacksepticeye X Reader) [ BEING EDITED]

Doubts and Smiles

** Y/N's perspective **

I woke up while he was laying me down on my soft bed. I fought a smile as my knight in shining headphones pulled the blankets up to my chin. Then unexpectedly... Sean kissed me. His tender lips brushed and planted themselves on my forehead. Instantly, my cheeks burst into red heat. JACKSEPTICEYE JUST KISSED MY FOREHEAD. He left shortly after, but I couldn't sleep. Why did he do that? That definitely isn't a thing that friends do. I felt protected. No matter what I did, my grin could not be removed.

Eventually, I wanted a snack. I couldn't think straight, but I was hungry. I carefully removed the covers and stepped on the cold ground soundlessly. I stood up slowly. Walking towards the door, I opened it quietly. I walked blindly in the night and tried to gingerly reach the kitchen. Suddenly, a voice echoed throughout the apartment.

" Hello?" Sean asked.

I looked around trying to find him, but I couldn't. " I'm here," I replied in a whisper.

" What are you doing up so late?" He asked plainly, flicking the lights in the living room on.

I readjusted to the light and walked over to him. He was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his laptop. His eyes were red and puffy.

" I'm hungry... What are you doing this late?" I reiterated.

Sean looked up at me and smiled as he replied, " Oh. I am reading."

I raised an eyebrow at him while I went near him. " Reading?" I questioned.

" Yeah... It's a Jacksepticeye reader thing. And they, uh, had a nice note at the end. That's all," Sean explained, rubbing his eyes with his wrist.

" I'm sorry!" I exclaimed sympathetically.

Sean hunched over childishly. " Sorry. I'm blubbering," He said, pitying himself as he put his laptop beside him.

I reached my arms around him before my brain gave the command. Sean relaxed under my touch and embraced me in return. His breath was warm against my neck as he started breathing brokenly.

" I want to be there for so many people, Y/N," Sean said. " But I can't."

While still holding onto him, I replied, " You are there for so many people. You just can't talk with them all."

" I... just feel like I'm not doing enough," Sean told, resting his head on my shoulder.

Rubbing his back comfortingly, I said, " You're doing more than enough. You need to give yourself something. Sean... You upload not for yourself. You do it for everyone who needs you. I need you."

" You don't..." Sean muttered.

I closed my eyes tightly in disbelief. " Of course I do. Why would you say that?" I asked.

He pulled away from the hug and looked at me. " You have Jett-"

" Jett?!" I asked in disbelief. He nodded slowly. " Jett is a bitch. We have had our issues, but never has he been as nice to me as you have. He chases after me because he's used to the catch-and-release method of love. He can't stand that I found someone that isn't him. He's one more bad interaction away from a restraining order."

" Y-you aren't dating Jett?" He asked me while stuttering in disbelief.

Laughing at his behavior, I replied simply, " No. Thankfully, I'm not."

" N-not that it matters. It doesn't matter..." Sean said nervously, smiling and laughing awkwardly afterward.

The same smile that I love crept on his face, and made me smile too.

" Well, I'm glad that helped you out. My crippling singleness," I said sarcastically.

He pulled me into another warm welcoming hug, and replied positively, " We'll be lonely together."

I smiled at the thought of that while I wrapped my arms around him again. Being with Sean in his apartment. Eating breakfast, watching movies and videos, listening to his record, sleeping on his shoulders, and wearing his clothes. I sighed in contentment.

" I'd love that," I replied quietly.

Sean squeezed me in his arms, and let go reluctantly. I did too. Sean looked at my eyes, scanning them. His eyes were like light ice on a winter stream. We looked at each other intensely and breathed slowly and quietly. The air around me froze. Every car that was driving by faded into a dull sound. Any other sound was muted. All I heard was Sean and I breathe.

Very slowly, Sean leaned in towards me. My heart got caught in my throat and my stomach rung itself and tied into a tight knot. Was... he leaning in to get a kiss? My brain contemplated every possible explanation and reaction in a millisecond. I could run away like a coward. I could just pretend to die. I could kiss him. But; maybe it was like in the kitchen when he was making pancakes. He was getting something else maybe. Like a jacket or pillow or blanket.

Sean closed his eyes slowly as he was still slowly leaning in. That could not possibly be leaning in to grab something. I was 95% sure that he was leaning in to kiss me. 5% still unsure what I was thinking. Breathing out slowly, I followed my heart.