A New Life (Dean Winchester X Demon Reader)

Choices

The man in front of you slowly faded away, along with the white room, in it's place nothing but darkness. His words echoing around, telling you to choose. You knew what you would choose, but for a moment you wondered if you were making the right choice. Of course you loved Dean, and would always love him. But here was a chance you never would have thought you would be given. A chance to be free, to live in heaven, in a place reserved specifically for you. If you chose heaven you would be free from ridicule, from heart break. Who's to say that you chose Dean, and in the end he walked away from you, his job of getting your memory back done.

You knew that you were probably turning away a good opportunity, that many people would think you were crazy for choosing the love of a man over a guaranteed spot in heaven. But Dean wasn't any man, and you believed he loved you as much as you loved him.

"How do I return?" You yelled, but it just echoed in the pitch black, your question going unanswered. Sighing, you tried to think back to everything you had read, or learned, trying to think of something that would help in this current predicament.

However, as a Demon, you had never been privy to lessons about visits from higher beings, and what to do to fight back if you were stuck in limbo. So, you were on your own, with no idea how to get out of your own mind, and what would happen if you couldn't figure it out.

Closing your eyes, you thought of Dean, bringing his face to your mind, concentrating on how his freckles spread out over his nose and cheeks, the way his lips would pout when he was deep in thought, the way his green eyes would darken just before he kissed you. You visioned the way his shoulders would flex under his flannel shirt, the way his fingers would lightly brush up and down your arm as he held you close. Your time together might not have been the smoothest, or easiest, but there were many moments that you looked on fondly, and you were hoping that concentrating on the man you loved more than anything would help bring you back.

You thought as hard as you could, concentrating on the first time Dean had kissed you. It was after your first hunt, and you were both giddy from the thrill of it. Sam had already gone back into the motel room, but Dean had gently grasped your arm, pulling you back until you were standing beside him, both of you leaning against the Impala.

"You did good back there." He told you proudly, and you blushed under the compliment.

"Thanks." You said quietly, standing there next to him, your heart beating in anticipation. The two of you had been flirting around each other all week, and you weren't sure where he was heading with this.

Turning to face you, you followed suit, until you were both staring at each other, neither one ready to make the first move. Feeling self conscious, you tilted your head down, your hair covering your red cheeks, ashamed that you were still that girl from the 1800s who thought men had to make the first move, and that kissing should only be done when you were married.

It was then you felt gentle fingers lifting your chin up, and before you could do more than blink, Dean's lips were against yours, surprisngly smooth against yours, a soft, gentle kiss that only lasted a moment before he pulled back, not wanting to rush you.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while now." He said quietly, tucking an errant strand of hair behind your ear.

It was then you heard a sound, voices actually, ones that didn't quite belong in that memory. As it slowly slipped away, the voices became clearer, and you listened in, still stuck in the darkened room, unable to completely make your way back yet.

"Damn it Cas, when is she going to wake up?" Dean asked, his voice firm and mad, but you could detect a sense of sadness and despair that would be hidden to most people.

You heard shuffling, and the side of your bed sinking down, before someone spoke next. "I'm sorry Dean, I've never done this before, I don't know what to expect. It might be days, or weeks. Or she might not wake up at all."

Something shattered, and you figured Dean must have thrown something against the wall, his frustration turning to rage. "It's already been two days Cas. I'm not sure how much more I can take." He said quietly.

You tried to reach out to him, to let him know you were still with him, that you were fighting to get back, but the darkness and quiet soon overpowered your consciousness, and you were once again a prisoner in your own mind.

You wish you had something that you could throw, wanting to release your emotions like Dean had done. You had been so close hearing his deep, rumbling voice, but before you could do anything you had been pulled back.

"What do I have to do?" You yelled, annoyed that your words echoed around you, knowing there was no one there to answer you. Sinking to your knees, you held your head, tears falling down your cheeks as helplessness and frustration found their way into your very being.

"Come on Y/N, don't be so stupid. Crying isn't going to solve this." You scolded yourself, disappointed that you had stopped fighting so easily.

As you sat there, an unwelcome memory flashed before your eyes, when Dean had found out that you were a Demon. You tried pushing it away, convinced that it wouldn't help your cause any, but it wouldn't budge.

It flashed through your mind, as fresh as if it happened yesterday. You could remember the confusion on Dean's face as Cas held his blade to your neck, the hope in his eyes that you would say something to prove it wasn't true. The look of disbelief and hurt that had flashed across his face would haunt you for the rest of your life. You wish things had gone differently, but if you could do it all over again, you still would have lied at the beginning. If you hadn't, you probably wouldn't be in the predicament you were in now. Your body would be rotting along the road somewhere, instead of laying in the bunker. You would have never gotten to know the sweet, caring nature that Dean was so good at hiding beneath his rough hunter exterior. Sam would have never become your best friend, and you would have never known what true happiness was, even though it only lasted a short while.

While you sat there, the horrible memory running through your mind, you slowly became aware that your surrounding had slowly changed, you were no longer sitting on a cold, blank floor, you felt heavy and weighted down. Your arms wouldn't move, and you ached all over. As you took stock of your situation, a voice sounded from beside you.

"I don't even know if you can hear me. I don't even know why I'm doing this, it feels like I'm talking to myself. But Y/N, if you're in there, please don't leave me. I know our lives, and our relationship haven't been the greatest, that I've pushed you away too many times. But I just got you back, I can't lose you again." Dean said, his voice low and strained. You wanted to move your arm, to hold his hand and let him know you weren't going to leave him. But your body had been immobile for so long, your muscles weren't following orders like they should.

You wanted to scream, to open your eyes, to do something to give Dean hope, but no matter how hard you struggled, you stayed still and silent.

You, however, did feel a slight pressure on your hand, and you knew Dean had placed his hand over yours. "Y/N, please. I love you. I know I've been a jerk to you, and I don't deserve you, but I will do anything, as long as you come back to me." He begged, and that's when you felt it. A slight twitch of your fingers, not much motion, but enough that Dean must have felt it, because his fingers tightened around yours.