A New Life (Dean Winchester X Demon Reader)

Resolution

"What do you remember?" Dean asked you again, his voice low, his tone uncertain. He was still staring down at your joined hands, his expression unreadable. 

Taking a deep breath, you answered, uncertain as to how he would take the news. "Everything," you whispered. 

"Everything?" He repeated, his voice strangely low and calm, scaring you.  

You nodded, but he couldn't see, he still hadn't look up, and you were starting to worry, wondering if he would leave you. After all, he had done what he did best, helping a damsel in distress.  

"Yep," you popped, tears forming in your eyes, your mind already creating the worst possible scenario. You didn't want to say goodbye to Dean, not again. You had given up your hcance of heaven to be with him, and it hurt knowing that he might not feel the same. 

Choking back a sob, you found yourself whispering, "It's alright Dean. I understand." He finally peered up, his green eyes hooded as they looked at you for the first time since you were alone. 

"You understand what?" He asked, his voice thick, both of you taking a deep breath at the same time. You weren't ready for this conversation, but you weren't sure you would ever be. 

"Dean, I get it," you muttered. "You helped me when I had no memories because you felt obligated. You're a good man, who can't help but come to the rescue of any damsel in distress. I know what I did earlier was too much to work past, even though you tried. I know you did. I just want you to know that I'm not going to hold to anything," you spoke hastily, tears slipping down your cheeks. 

During your speech, Dean sat there, his mouth open,  no words coming out, never stopping you to let you know you were wrong. You were exhausted and hurt, and you couldn't stop the tears that continued to fall. The tears seemed to shake Dean out of his stupor. Closing his mouth, then opening it again, he finally spoke. "What the hell are you talking about?"  

"Dean, I just want you to know that I'm not expecting anything more from you. You helped, because that's the type of man you are. But I know you're probably ready to kick me to the curb, and I don't blame you." 

"Shh," he whispered softly, brushing the tears from your cheek, his touch sweet and gentle, surprising you. "You're being ridiculous. Of course I don't want you to go anywhere. If anybody should be leaving, it's me." 

"You?" You asked as you tried to reign in your tears.

"Yes, I'm the one who put you through so much. I was such a jerk to you, and I have no idea how to make it up to you. To make things right. As you laid there, in the bed, not moving, I couldn't help but think how much better off you would be if you didn't remember me. You could go on, living a new life, without a screw up by your side." He told you, standing up, climbing off the bed to pace the room.  

"But, I was the Demon, and I lied to you from the beginning. How can I ever expect you to trust me, when I lied to you from day one? You were only doing what was in your nature, I could never hate you for that." You responded.

He stopped pacing and turned to face you, his hand running through his hair, as emotions he usually kept hidden away plowed through his body. "Yeah, but I should have never treated you that way. It wasn't right, and every day I beat myself up for it. What if I had pushed too hard? You almost died once, because of me. Then you actually died, and that was because Sam and I drug you into the war with Ebony!"

It was then you tried rising out of bed, tired with Dean's self-hatred, wanting to do nothing more than wrap your arms around him, comforting him. Sliding your legs out of bed, you placed your feet on the cold floor and put your weight on them. Your legs were too weak, and you felt yourself falling to the ground, unable to support yourself.

"Damn it Y/N! Why are you trying to climb out of bed? You're too weak!" Dean yelled at you, as he grasped you in his arms, keeping you from tumbling to the floor. He gently placed you back on the bed, and you sighed in annoyance.

"I was going to march over there and smack some sense into your head." You muttered, furious that your recovery had turned into a battle of whose fault everything was.

But your stumbling had an effect on both of you, calming the both of you down. Dean sat back down next to you, sighing. "I really wish we could start over. I hate to say this, but it was really nice when you didn't have your memories because it was like we were starting fresh. You didn't remember all the things I said, or did to you, but yet you were falling for me all over again."

"Yeah, and I wasn't a Demon." You muttered, a little hurt.

"Hey, that's not what I meant!" He replied, hurt. "Was I hurt and furious at first when I found out you were a Demon? Of course, but then I slowly got over it, once you stayed and helped us when you didn't need to. I fell in love with your soul, how beautiful and good it was, and you being a Demon shouldn't have deterred me in the first place."

"So, now what?" You asked. "I know we both have issues, but maybe together we can work them out. Because I fought hard to come back. I wasn't wanting to come back to an empty, loveless life. I fought because I wanted a life with you."

"You make me want to be a better person. And I will do everything in my power to make sure you know you are loved," Dean told you, his eyes sincere.

You smiled at him, glad that some of your issues had been solved, amazed that this brave, rough around the edges hunter was being so open with his emotions.

"Now that all of that is out of the way, do you want to talk about what you just went through?" He asked a smile on his face, your hand once again grasped in his, both of you happy.